Should I stay or should I go?

Trip Start Oct 30, 2007
1
92
107
Trip End Ongoing


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Where I stayed

Flag of Turkey  , Antalya,
Monday, August 3, 2009

Should I stay or should I go?
 
I've been asking myself this question daily in the last few years as I was traveling the world. This past two months in Çirali, where I had a lovely time teaching yoga twice a day, eating incredibly delicious Turkish food, and swimming in one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen, the daily answer I kept giving myself was "Stay, of course!"
 
But as I kept on staying attachments to circumstance and outcome sneaked in on me, and as I already discovered before, those carry within them seedlings of suffering.
 
When a new female yoga teacher suddenly appeared in Myland and I was told that I had to share my classes with her I was taken aback. It took me a while (and a bit of effort against unexplained resistance from the owners) to build up the yoga studio there and it seemed unfair to have to give it away without being informed or asked about it in advance. Moreover, the male owner of Myland had romantic interest in her and therefore treated her like royalty. Compared with the aloof and especially unhelpful attitude I've been given by the owners witnessing his interactions with the new teacher was triggering very uncomfortable feelings within me. To make matter worse, Michelle, the new teacher, did not show up to teach two of her first three classes. The first because she was taken for horseback riding by the owner, and the second because she simply forgot.

"When the winds of change arrive, some people build walls while others build windmills", says a Chinese proverb. I chose to let the winds carry me away towards new adventures. So a few mornings ago, when I asked myself the "stay or go" question I realized it was time for me to go.

I completely know that it was the attachments I've created to circumstance and outcome that created this "suffering"  and that I could have easily stayed in Çirali for much longer (I was invited to stay till November) but as Abraham-Hicks says "You never get it done" I realized that while this experience was very close to manifesting my dreams it was still not "it" exactly. I want to live with other yogis who love and support each other, and it was certainly not the case here. 

So as I continue drifting west on the Turquoise Coast of Turkey, I'm focusing on the many things I'm grateful for and appreciate in my life. And oh, what a glorious life I have, and what a wonderfully marvelous two months I've had in Çirali; from witnessing baby sea turtles hatching and marching to sea, seeing an adult sea turtle in the water, sleeping on the beach under millions of stars, cooking with Yetish, the incredible cook of Myland, teaching yoga to some beautiful people, making lovely new friends from all over the world, receiving generous donations made towards my yoga teaching, swimming joyously at least once (if not twice) a day, taking boat cruises, getting incredible massages by a very talented masseur named Funda, and seeing many many sunrises.

Om, Shanti, shanti, shanti, OM.
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