G'day from down under! yes we are now in ...

Trip Start Apr 01, 2001
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Australia  ,
Monday, October 29, 2001

G'Day from Down Under! Yes, we are now in the land of Vegemite.
There are a few things we've learned that might be helpful for anyone planning a trip to Australia:-

* Knowing the difference between a Saltie and a Freshie could save your life. (They both looked like big scary croccodiles to us!)

* If you are invited to a barbie (BBQ) don't be offended if someone asks you to "Crack open the eski and pass them a stubby full of piss" (It just means they would like a beer)

* A floater is something you eat, not something you can't flush down the dunny - Dead set mate! (Its a meat pie floating in gravy).

Qantas flight 79 ... a routine flight between Singapore and Perth ... Thousands of passengers have flown this route before ... but tonight for Paul & Tonya it was a flight into .... THE TWILIGHT ZONE .... Doodeedoodoo..Doodeedoodoo!

The plane left on time and everything was going to schedule. Paul and Tonya had just finished their inflight meal when it all began ...

Paul, never being content with one small bottle of wine, had to ask the airhostess for a can of that great Australian bitter, "VB". It was shortly after Paul finished his VB, and just as Tonya was settling down to read her book, that he got up and went to the toilet. Tonya continued to read her book ... When she next looked at her watch two hours had passed. It was then that she realised Paul had not returned from the toilet ... Doodeedoodoo... Doodeedoodoo.

Wandering where Paul had got to, Tonya walked to the rear of the plane. Two gentlemen stood chatting outside the rear toilets with beers in their hands. "Ah ha", she tought "this is where he is " ... but he wasn't. Thinking that he had deserted her, for the comforts of Business Class she walked to the front of the plane... but still he was not to be found.

She returned to her seat and pondered the possibilities ... Doodeedoodoo... Doodeedoodoo Had he been abducted by aliens? ... Or, was he strewn half naked across the toilet floor having knocked himslf out standing up to pull his trousers up?

As the latter seemed the more likely of the two options (Paul had been drinking), she called the airhostess and uttered these immortal words "I know this sounds strange, but my boyfirend went to the toilet two hours ago and I haven't seen him since".

Just as these words had left her mouth, Paul appeared with a vacant glazed look in his eyes. (Buy him enough drinks sometime and you might find out what happened to him).


We were met by Jackie and Alan, (Tonya's relations) and spent the first few days staying in their luxurious house. We must have looked malnurished because they kept feeding us huge English breakfasts and roast dinners. Alan chauffered us around until we had eaten enough and built up the strength to walk!

Perth is the capital of Western Australia and with a population of just over 1 million, it claims to be "a city". The central business district only has a handful of multi storey buildings; residents don't know what a traffic jam is; you can walk across the city in less than 10 minutes; and we had problems finding a restuarant that was open at 8pm on a Sunday. All this hardly qualifies Perth as a "city" in our books. However, its picture perfect location on the Swan River, warm dry climate and laid back way of life make it a very pleasant "city" to visit. A trip to Kings Park will give you an excellent view of this.

Onward to the South West corner of Australia...
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