Trepidatious but feeling good

Trip Start Jul 01, 2005

Trip End Aug 09, 2005

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Flag of United States Austin, Texas
Friday, July 15, 2005

It's nearly 11:30 and I really ought to be in bed by now, especially considering I haven't been sleeping much lately. But, of course, I am up doing research and getting things in order for my trip. I had dinner with Amy tonight, she's the gal who recently travelled the world for a year and has been giving me all sorts of helpful advice. Since I've been feeling a bit nervous and apprehensive lately, it was good to spend some time with her and hear some of her travel stories. She assured me that even (or especially) without a plan, everything works out and not to worry. She and her beaux also gave me some good info. I had not heard that you are only allowed to stay in Europe for 3 months. Apparently there is something called the Schengen that says that all of the countries in continental Europe (minus Scotland and a few others) are all considered one country in a sense, and you can't stay in them for more than 3 months in a 6 month time period. Major bummer since I had envisioned spending a year or so in Europe before heading down to Australia and New Zealand. So, now I need to do some research on that to see how I can work it out best.

I'm considering staying in town an extra week and half and leaving on the 10th instead of the 1st. I'm starting to feel a major time crunch and have still not sold my washer, dryer, bed, or car. My to-do list is insanely long and I don't see how I can get everything in order by the first. Plus, if I stay a bit longer I can save up a few more dollars before heading out into the world jobless. Of course, knowing me, I could change my mind again tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes...

Even though I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and trepidatious, I am still thoroughly excited about my upcoming adventure. The time is right for me to get out there in the world and break out of my bubble. People keep asking if I am going out there to "find myself," and my answer is, "no, I am going because I have found myself." I am not going out into the world in search of anything, for I have found what I need within myself. I am more self-aware and at peace and happy with who I am than I have ever been. I am ecstatically happy with my life right now and could very easily stay in my comfortable little happy world here. But there is a part of me that has always wanted to see the world, to travel and meet new people and see new things, to go to places that you read about in history books and see on the Discovery channel. I have admired people who are brave enough to go out there in the world alone. I have finally come to a point in my life where I am one of those brave people. I am not scared to fly across the ocean. I am open to eating all different sorts of food (and for those of you who have known me well, you know this is a big step!). I am accepting of plans changing and things not going the way I planned. I am open to new ideas and new people. I have enough confidence to go on an adventure like this and trust in the world and the Universe to provide what I need, maybe not always what I want, but definitely what I need. And I am wise enough now to know that what I need is not always something that I would consider pleasant or desirable. Life's learning experiences are often disguised as difficult challenges, but I can see now that these challenges are part of what shape us and enrich our lives. I am ready for the challenges that await me.