Should'a gone down to get up
Trip Start
Oct 23, 2006
1
40
51
Trip End
??? ??, 2007
Lopburi, Thailand
Saturday, February 3, 2007
see, Thailand is very well known in South East Asia for being a country
whose got it's shit together. And by that I mainly speak of
infrastructure, and by that I mean getting from one place to another on
nice beautifully well maintained roads and established routes. The
journey we embarked upon from Kanchanaburi to Chiang Mai is not a well
established route and thus Thailand will punish you for daring to
travel 'outside the box.' What Thailand wants you to do is catch a
really nice VIP bus from Kanchanaburi all the way back down to Bangkok,
and then catch another Farangalicious VIP bus from Bangkok to Chiang
Mai, that's what Thailand wants you to do. If you look at the map,
you'll quickly notice that Thailand wants you to go down to go up.
Chiange Mai is far away, it's Thailand's 'land of far far away' since
it's not really located to anything cool nearby, yet it's the second
biggest city in the whole country. This has to do with the history of
Siam, something I won't bore you with, just know that it's far away and
going from Kanchanaburi to Chiang Mai directly is tantamount to
traveling the hypotenuse of an isosceles triangle rather than traveling
the legs, which is what Thailand wants.
We should have known better than to anger Thailand. Thailand made sure
that we knew we were going against her wishes by making us take three
buses to get to Chiang Mai. On top of that these buses were relics of
the sixties. They were all diesel powered Mercedes buses that coughed
and battled to go up minimal grades, and whose leg room could make a
Thai midget uncomfortable. Riding these things was like being in a
mobile sauna, but at least they were sort of cheap and at least we were
doing it our way, slow as it was. We took one of these local buses
from Kanchanaburi to a town whose name I've already forgotten, then
from there we got on another rattle trap to Lopburi. By the time we
reached Lopburi we had spent just about the whole day on these buses
and were eagerly hoping for a comfy VIP bus for the last leg of the
journey. Now, let's delve into just what a VIP bus is shall we.
A VIP bus is a work of beauty, the ultimate evolution in bus transport
that the rest of the world has yet to achieve or even approximate; even
in the states the buses are way inferior to even the lowliest VIP bus
leaving Bangkok. These buses are generally very new, two stories high,
and include at the minimum the following: Upholstered everything,
curtains to block the sun, superior sound system, multiple drop down
monitors, karaoke if you're so inclined, refreshments, a lavatory that
is regularly maintained, a storage bay for your backpacks set apart
from the cabin where you sit, chairs that not only recline beyond 45
degrees, but also whose foot rests elevate to get you as horizontal as
possible for long sleep inclusive rides, pillow and blanket, and last
but not least, an absurdly elaborate paint job that covers the whole
vehicle from end to end. Oh and lest I forget the lights that
illuminate then engine from within for all those who have to follow the
bus, and the lights that are placed under the chassis to make sure that
the pavement glows an eerie green or purple as the bus coasts over it.
VIP buses only stop to feed the passengers and nothing more, so they
are the fastest and most convenient way around by far and Thailand
wants you to use them as often as possible. The tickets for VIP buses
can be a bit pricey, but as we were soon to find out, they're cheap
when compared to the alternative.
Lopburi contains a larger bus station than that of the little town we
last departed from, so we knew VIP buses were a definite possibility.
Once we arrived there we inquired when the next VIP bus would arrive
and they told us in roughly three hours, it was about 5pm at this
point. So we hung about the station and checked email, wrote blogs,
and had something to eat. When the bus came, we found out that it was
full and that the only way to move forward would be to stand on the bus
overnight. I don't know about you but standing for more than 8 hours
is a pretty rough business, let alone standing in the dark, having to
stay quiet, and all when you're supposed to be asleep. On top of all
of that, they were charging more than what it would have been had we
started in Bangkok. If you're going a shorter distance shouldn't you
pay less? Well this is what happens when you go against Thailand's
wishes, you get presented with a bus full of people who did as they
were supposed to and now they were all asleep in VIP luxury. We
weren't about to do that so we passed up that opportunity and asked
when the next bus would come, we were told it was about two and half
hours away if I remember correctly. We hung around some more and when
the next bus came, what did we find? Exactly the same situation! We
saw that this was hopeless and decided to stay the night here in
Lopburi hoping that perhaps the buses would be emptier the next
afternoon since they would be in the day instead of at night. Night is
preferred for long trips since you can just sleep (and that factors in
a night's worth of lodging for the astute backpacker) and wake up at
your destination rather than be hella bored for 8+ hours of
consciousness.
The next day came and with it the same problems we faced the night
before. We couldn't turn back now, we'd already gone two thirds of the
way! So we bit the bullet and accepted that we would have to stand
from Lopburi to Chiang Mai. We couldn't stay much longer anyways since
Matt and Sharon's visa was set to expire within 5 days and they would
have to get to Cambodia from Chiang Mai in that time frame, a feat in
and of itself. Another thing about VIP buses, they are run by crews of
usually 3 people, the two drivers who drive in shifts, and another
person who handles money, starts the movie, and distributes
refreshments and anything else the passengers need. So before boarding
the bus we spoke to the cash handler guy and argued with him that we
shouldn't have to pay full price (actually more than that but hey, we
just wanted a discount for standing) and worked out a new and lower
price. Let us discuss the last and most important rule of negotiations
in Asian countries. After any haggle battle, once you and the seller
agree to a price, you absolutely have to go through with it. No more
changing prices or backing out, once the price is agreed upon you must
buy the product and the money must change hands with no more discussion
on what that number is. Well the original price the cash handler dude
quoted was 388 baht, we argued him down to 300 baht since we were on
the floor, and then payed him, job well done in my opinion.
Once on the bus it was really uncomfortable, something I never thought
a VIP bus could be capable of. After about an hour of travel, the cash
handler dude came back and asked us for the other 88 baht. What the
fuck, we agreed and even paid! We said no and then the oh so
convenient language barrier suddenly overcame the guy and all he could
say was 88 baht and point at his paper that had 388 printed on it, as
if it were validating his argument. Well we just weren't having it,
the wounds of Erawan were far too fresh and there was no way we were
getting had again. It grew ugly. We weren't budging, he wouldn't get
off our back, and all the while there was no way for each side to argue
because we didn't speak the same language at all. Also, just like
every Asian country, 'saving face' is a really big deal in all social
intercourse, which means that you must do everything you possibly can
to save first yourself and then the other person from embarrassment.
This makes showing your teeth nearly impossible and raising your voice
extremely taboo. Yeah, since we're not from this part of the world,
you could really see the struggle the cash handler guy was going
through. Imagine you're trying to save face in front of a whole bus
that's watching with four foreigners yelling at you because you messed
up and foolishly agreed to a price that would likely cost you your
job. At one point the cash handler dude called his boss on his cell
phone and passed it to Matt. Matt tried to reason with the boss but
found that not only was the boss not able to speak English, but that
she didn't even try to listen. Matt told us that all the boss did was
continually repeat '388 baht' over and over into the phone until she
hung up on him. One other thing, for any service or product in
Thailand there are two prices: the price, and the Farang price, usually
far far higher than the actual price. We were paying the Farang price
which we were well aware of, and this only fueled the fire. At last we
agreed that once we got to Chiang Mai we would pay the difference, this
was a sly attempt to bring our fight to the bus station representatives
of the bus company and avoid payment all together, thus ruling out any
possibility of the bus forcing us out on some no named patch of road
along the way.
Shortly after all this transpired, the cash handler dude went back to
the front of the bus and we stopped at some random bus station where a
bunch of people got out. We jumped into the empty seats with the
quickness and spent the rest of our trip in them.
By the time we arrived in Chiang Mai we had each had a nap and allowed
the comfort of the VIP bus to mellow us out. After so much adversity
the shear comfort and pampering of the VIP bus had the effect of a long
massage on our bodies and minds, and somehow after getting off the bus,
we really had no desire to cling to principal. We just wanted to move
on and ended up paying the 88 baht; plus having had so much time to
reflect we realized that we probably saved the cash handler dude from
losing his livelihood. In the end we had spent more money and time
trying to do this journey our way than if we had simply taken a VIP bus
back to Bangkok and then from there to Chiang Mai, oh well live and
learn. Contrary to all our experiences in the past week and a half,
Chiang Mai would turn out to be unbelievably amazing and wonderful. It
will be a pleasure to relate the happenings of this part of Thailand to
you, and in fact I'm looking forward to it as I finish this entry.
