Into Vietnam
Trip Start
Aug 17, 2011
1
9
18
Trip End
Oct 31, 2011
Châu Ðốc, An Giang, Vietnam
Monday, September 5, 2011
Three hours later we turn onto a dirt road and see the pier. "Pier," perhaps conveys the wrong idea: what we should say is that the dirt road extends into the Mekong River, where it stops, midriver. A rickety boat of about the dimensions of a small bus has beached itself on our dirt road. We board the boat, and fear boards us. We have booked the three-day "slow boat." Will we be sleeping on this? The few scraps of rolled up bedding beneath the sign reading "TOiLeT" do not bode well. No one really tells us anything, and we have no choice but to hand over our passports and fates, and enjoy the ride.
The border crossing was much less sketchy than the trip into Cambodia, thank God. Our little boat pulls over to another makeshift pier. A dozing officer climbs out of his hammock, adjusts his uniform and saunters over to his booth. Stamp! We're no longer in Cambodia. Ten more minutes in the boat and we pull over to another checkpoint, with no officers in sight, and somehow get stamped into Vietnam. The woman taking over our tour yells "Good morning, Vietnam!" at us and after lunch it's time to get moving. Why is it always Good Morning Vietnam?? Does anyone remember Good Night Saigon? Poor Billy Joel gets the shaft once more.
Now, our shitty little first boat had a bathroom. The woman said our next boat to Chau Doc, a three hour ride, would be nicer than the last one. We assume this to be an overall upgrade: padded seats, soberer driver, and properly capitalized Toilet sign. Well, welcome to the wilds of Viet-gaddam-nam. Leanne, having under false pretenses downed a Diet Coke, boards the newer, "better" vessel, to the news that it has no bathroom. An hour into the trip I'm about to burst. I ask the lady what would happen should a hypothetical someone need to go to the bathroom. She laughed at me (not very nice) and asked me if I had to pee. Yes, yes I do and badly. Well, you can't stop on the Mekong Delta because there are no bathrooms here. Can I use the bathroom on the boat, the lady asks? Bathroom? What bathroom? What is she talking about? She leads me to the back of the boat and lifts up the back bench. Here's your bathroom. Whatever, I have to go so bad that I don't care. The lady instructs the other boat passengers not to look, saving me a shred of dignity as I pee off the back of a boat in Vietnam. Vietnamese fishermen watch and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. This is what happens when you're unemployed, homeless, and wandering around Asia - you lose your shame.
After the mortifying second boat ride, we arrive in Chau Doc, a small border town. Tomorrow we will visit a fish farm, but we're free to explore this afternoon. It's a small town and there's not much to do. We're excited to be back in Vietnam and eager to get our hands on some food. We eat three banh mi straight away, each a bit differently and none costing more than US$0.50. Yum. Pho and wonton soup with some beer for dinner and we're happy.
