The Hospital Diaries - Part 2
Trip Start Aug 23, 1996
574Trip End Ongoing
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Trust me, after spending four days in a hospital it was good to get home. I couldn't believe the amount of well wishes that were waiting for me in both mine and Lucy's inbox. I still say you are all suckholing to remain on the will. I also had to ring my Mum and break the news to her. Because she gets upset quite easily, I played it down how bad I am. Sometimes, I can be a little tactful !!! It was hard just sitting there, because my fingers don't really move anymore, and the pain spread over my arm during the time at home, but I would still rather be a couch surfing Davros, than stuck in the ward. Before I do move on, just a quick thanks to Mini Me for the photos of the Somme. It was sad to miss out, but you have given me some more ideas, and to Ann, you might be older than my Mum, but you ARE my number one groupie !!!
Day 5 Monday
I was meant to be back at 08:00, but I was late. Seeing it is a new day, I was given a new bed. The more things change, the more things stay the same. As usual, I was given the old blood pressure, temperature and blood sugar level check. High/low/high. A nuero doctor from Delhi came to visit me this morning. He explained that the MRI results have not come back yet, but he said he would chase. I told him that the drugs don't work and I would like something stronger. Wouldn't we all !!! Once again I was asked if there was any possibility if I could have aids. Do they not read my previous answers, or am I going to have to make up a story how I shag anything that moves ??? He seemed to believe that it is a Brachial Plexus problem. Basically, the nerves that come from the neck and go down the shoulder, but he needs to see the results. If only you all could all see how withered away my lower left arm is. It is quite shocking. Also, all the blood results aren't back yet, so I've been told that tomorrow, I need to give more. If there is major swelling which can effect the nerves, they will jam a drip into my arm and blast me with steroids. All I can think is no balls/man boobs. I had man boobs once before, and if we hadn't travelled overland and lost all of the weight, I would be up to an F cup by now !!! I was just told, they are upping the strength of my pain killers. I am so happy !!!| I dropped the first strong one, no feelings, no pain, so I lay back. Not long after, a couple of student doctors come over for the usual touch, feel and ask questions. It's always the same thing, so now I resort to asking non-medical ones, because they realistically have no idea. They do try though. One was from Malaysia, and she looked like a Pakistani, and the other was from Pakistan, but she looked Iranian. She was even dressed like a Shiite, not a Sunni, so I asked her why and she said she thought it was more neutral looking than the Sunni way. She said her father was not impressed. Understandable. Around half an hour later, another one came along. She was from Singapore, and very attractive, so I decided to keep her here as long as possible. Nothing wrong with a bit of eye exercise !!! We had a laugh and we checked each other out as well, and being a student, had no idea what is wrong with me, but that was ok, as I had her sitting on my bed for quite a long time. But I did make one schoolboy error, no camera !!! Me of the take a million photos type boy. Fuck it !!! She exited, and within 15 minutes, two more rolled up, but they were guys, so I refused. After dinner, I had a talk with a nurse from Sri Lanka. As I haven't been there yet, I listened to her stories and told some of my own. Because of this, today, there has been a huge lack of taking my blood pressure and temperature. Still, I can't complain, I have had an enjoyable first day back. Pretty women, new drugs, what more could a boy want !!!
Day 6 Tuesday
I awake suddenly in pain. It's 02:00. I try to sleep again, but at 03:00 a nurse is there to take my blood pressure. I can't take the pain and ask for a pain killer. They offer me either the new ones I am on or paracetamol. Realistically, if I take the stronger one, I won't get another until 14:00, and my body can't wait that long, so I opt for the paracetamol. I slowly drift back into a light sleep, but by 05:00, I am wide awake. The sister sees me at 06:00. She can see I'm in agony, she offers me the power drug, but I refuse again. I explain why and she understands. All there is left to do is to sit back and wait for breakfast and 08:00 to roll along. By 07:00, everyone's awake, and the nurses are rushing around, taking the other guys in my ward to the toilet. Even though I have lost the use of my arm, I am thankful that I can still use the toilet on my own, but then again, the drugs I am on just make me constipated. It's times like these I wish I was back in the Sub-Continent !!! I saw the neuro from Delhi this morning, but he did not have an answer for me about the MRI. He reckons today I am meant to be going for more electrical tests today, but because of the speed of the system, I'm not holding my breath. I was having a little snooze when my neuro, Dr Almamar came in. He asked me to lay my arms out straight with the palms facing down. He asked me to turn the palm over. I can't. He told me that I should get my electrical tests today and he wants me to have a lumber puncture. This is where they puncture into the spine, drain some fluids as they want to see what is going on. He also mentioned that they might take some of the nerves from between the thumb and first finger as they want to see what the nerves are doing. That scares me a little. He also said I will be here until the end of the week. Not long after, more needles were stuck in my arm as they want more blood. Once again I asked what they are checking for, and he said, everything. At least I am getting checked for every disease know to man !!! Not long after, the doctor from Delhi came over and announced that it's lumbar puncture time. Basically, you lie on your side, they stick a couple of locals into you, then drain the Cerebral Spinal Fluid. It took about 15 minutes, then he took some blood from my arm, more like he butchered my arm for the blood. Also, the fluid that was removed is the stuff that your brain floats in, so you instantly become light headed. It was hard walking back, I was more like the other guys in the ward. I went back and lay down, and I received a call from Caro, the Cocaine Queen from Columbia. She lives in the States, and it was good to talk to her. After resting for a couple of hours, another girl came to join me. She was from Greece and a junior neuro doctor. Also, as she was attractive, I kept her for a very long time, just going over my notes and stuff. As I only spent a day in Athens, she wasn't very impressed with me, but she did like the islands I have been to and as both of us want to go to Santorini, I did think about trying to convince her to meet me there, but I don't think Lucy would be impressed !!! She exited through the curtains, then another third year student came to join me. He was from Bonn so we had a talk about my problems. I explained that I had been in Hamburg drinking loads of gluwein at the Weinacht Markts in Hamburg. He did ask if anything could have happened when I was steaming, but nothing did. We spoke about many things before I physically died. Since I was drained, I have felt like absolute shit. I have drunk over 4 litres of water. All I want to do is sleep. I don't know how I will be alive when Lucy gets here. Still, I can't complain, I didn't get the answer back about the MRI or have the electrical tests, but I did receive loads of calls and the one from Caro, which was an added unexpected bonus.
Day 7 Wednesday
Some say that after having a lumber puncture, you should drink plenty of water and lie flat on your back. I have drunk around 7 litres, and I am still dry in the mouth, but I did sleep well. It's 06:00 here now, I have a sore back where they went in, my arm is hurting, but at this moment in time, I feel at ease. I am hoping that I get the news about the MRI, so that they might discover what is wrong with me. This is the hardest thing about being here. Waiting to find out what is wrong with me. I do know, that come the afternoon, I will be inundated with third year students as usual, so hopefully, I will get some eye candy today !!! I went to take a shower, and as I walked in, it appeared that someone had missed the bowl and just left their nuggets on the floor. I suppose it can be a little hard to sit on a toilet whilst taking a shower, even if they are next to each other. Maybe I should try that myself ??? Just leave a friendly reminder or two for the next person !!! I think I must of done something wrong in a former life to an Indian. Here in the UK, Jatinder the Sikh, is one of my closest friends, but everytime an Indian doctor touches me, I bruise. My arm, where Dr Delhi attacked me yesterday is purple. Thankfully, I can't see what he did to my back. I will ask Lucy later to check it out for me. Dr Delhi and a Malaysian neuro came to see me just then. All the results are in from the MRI and the lumber puncture, and everything is normal and they don't know what is wrong with me. Before I came here, they said it was a median nerve problem, they are now saying I'm having radial nerve problems as well. They are still trying to get me into the electrical tests and they are talking physio as well. They tested my strength of my left arm, the upper is still good, but the lower has gone. I am pretty upset at the moment because of the no result. It's kind of hard to be happy when the doctors have no ideas. I know I shouldn't feel down, but the tears just flow. God I wish I wasn't here, anywhere but here. Eventually, another young girl came over, drew the curtains and said she was a trainee physiotherapist. She went around checking me out, seeing what is strong and what is not. She made her list before she left, then awaiting outside were another two young girls. They said that they were student neuro doctors and they wanted to check me out. Once again, I sat back being poked and prodded, then they gave me their assessment and they said that I have a problem with my radial and median nerves. They asked me if they were correct ??? I told them that normally I only practice gynaecology, self taught in fact, but they were along the right lines. But nobody really knows what is wrong with me. They said they were sorry, but it's not their fault, and they left me to eat lunch. John Smith, my regular lunchtime buddy turned up. It was good to see him, so we hung out for an hour before he had to go. Then my phone rang. It was the ward looking for me. They said my Electro Myo Graph was ready and I had to go do it now. Once there, I saw the same Iranian doctor, and he couldn't believe how far I had gone downhill in a short space of time. Basically, with an EMG, they hit your bad spots with electric shots and check it on a graph and they compare it to your good side. It took about an hour, then he announced that I had Brachial Neuritis. He said I will need more tests and physio. I went back to my bed and two young attractive student doctors came up. They were doing the usual tests on me, then I received a text from John Nolan, asking if there was any eye candy around. They finished up, and John was waiting outside the curtain. He walked in saying, no wonder you don't want to get better with all this totty around !!! His eyes then popped out of his head as my physio had to take me down for a quick session. He waited whilst I had two young women take hold of me and manipulate my arms in various ways, then they said they will even give me a harder session tomorrow. I hung out with John for the rest of the arvo, talking work and other shit. It was good to see the two Johnnies today. A piece of normality in my life.
Day 8 Thursday
Had another bad nights sleep. They have upped my sleeping tablets but this didn't help. I awoke at 03:00 for blood pressure, and again at 05:00. Once awake I just lie there, watching the other four patients in my room. They are very different to me, especially the one across in the middle. He stares at me constantly, except when he is pissing/shitting himself. That's always a good look !!! Maybe it was him who missed the bowl yesterday ??? Thankful today, there were no surprises waiting for me in the bathroom, so I didn't leave any either, not that I would have been able to, as I am still constipated. I am now on laxatives because the nurses here are a little worried !!! Pretty bored today as nothing is happening. No doctors or students, however a woman just came to me and wanted some blood. She saw my arm where Dr Butcher from Delhi had been and was shocked. She said, I bet you felt it when he was draining you. If they are any good, you really shouldn't feel anything, and I only felt a small prick. I asked what it was for, and she said alpha something or other but she did not know herself. I sat there watching the very last episode of Boston Legal, and halfway through it, Dr Almamar and the butcher from Delhi arrived. They then gave me some news
1) My problem is viral, and the drugs I am on may or may not cure it. Only time will tell
2) I can go home today after I have seen the physiotherapists.
I sat back taking it in. It's quite hard really, being told that you may never be cured of something, or it might come back again. Thoughts went racing through me. Would I ever be able to do long distance overland travel again, I know that should be the furthest thing on my mind, but thats what's up there at the moment. Once they had gone, it suddenly hit me, this was the last episode of Boston Legal. All I have done over the last month is sit back and watch endless episodes. This is worst than the lack of movement !!! I was sitting back, just trying to take it in when an Occupational Therapist came over to talk to me about how I live my life and what part it is effecting. Basically, I explained that I have managed to change as things have gotten worse. It has been harder for Lucy because I am unable to cook or do any of the housework. Oh well, a womans work is never done !!! She exited and the young physio came over and showed me some home exercises that I can do. I had a practise but she said I would also need to have physio sessions at my local hospital. So now I need to sit back and wait for my notes from the physio and to be given extra drugs before I can leave here. Once I had my drugs, I walked out. I found it sad to leave there. The staff had done their best to look after me and I can't complain about the level of care that I received. If you would like to read more about my condition, click on the link that one of the boys at work supplied to me. Brachial Neuritis
Don't know when I can go back to work again, it is kind of hard sitting back doing nothing, quite boring in fact. Ever since I hit that lovely number 40, it's been all downhill. Oh well, at least I can try to climb up and over the otherside.
So this is the end of this part of the hospital diaries, it hasn't been fun or pleasant, but it has been another experience in the life of the Uncle Davros