Donkeys, Valleys and Kings

Trip Start Apr 25, 2001
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Trip End Ongoing


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Flag of Egypt  ,
Sunday, October 10, 2004

Luxor was our final destination after our ultra-relaxing Felucca cruise. I was all relaxed out though and it was nice to get onto dry land and be able to sit up rather than having to be cross-legged!

We were all pretty knackered by the time we got to Luxor and a trip to Karnak Temple was not really on the top of our list of things to do. I reckon die by the pool was probably our main motivator for getting to the hotel. But shortly after arrival we were whisked away by horse and carriage to the Temple. I have to say that it's pretty impressive! We met our tour guide and he didn't really inspire us with his monotone voice and rambling on about a zillion names of Egyptian gods and goddesses that, at that point, all started sounding the same. I think he could see our eyes glazing over and asked if we wanted the short version, or the long version of his tour. Nobody said a thing and I, knowing that everyone felt the same way as I did and that leg chafe had been setting in on some, opted to speak up... SHORT! So, by Jody's recollection, we had the shortest ever tour of Karnak Temple.

We headed back to the hotel to find that Jo, Pickle, and Lukey had successfully stalked us! Jo had been invited out to a local club with one of the hotel workers and took us all along. Egyptian night clubs are quite odd mainly because there are no Egyptians females at any of them! They're filled with young Egyptian guys and the only chicks for themt o hit on are us tourists! There seemed to be quite a few older ladies looking for some Middle Eastern action that night and, apparently, while old men seem to go to Asia to pick up wives, older women seem to flock to Egypt!

Pickle, Lukey, Shannie and I were getting well into the swing of things... so much that I decided that if I went to sleep, there was no way I'd be getting up at 5am to head off on donkeys to the Valley of the Kings. So I, with my amazing common sense, decided to stay up all night. This was a good choice as poor Shannie didn't make it up the next morning and missed out on a great day!

I was still pretty drunk in the morning which made for some interested donkey riding. Those things are damn bouncy and a common affliction for those of us without sprots bras is 'donkey boobs'.

The ride to the Valley was pretty funny. Perry's legs were too long and his feet were practically on the ground as his donkey attempted to cart him away. We had little races here and there, and eventually made it there. In my current state of near-hangoverness, I headed into the temples down the wrong side, passing the line, and looked on the way out. I really didn't think that spewing in an ancient tomb would go over well with the authorities so didn't want to temp fate by spending longer in those enclosed spaces than I needed to! Was amazing though to see all the paint still on the carvings. It blows my mind how much effort they put into each tomb.

Our next stop was the worker's tombs on the other side of Magic Mountain. It sounds like awaterpark ride or something but it's just that, a mountain separating the gods from the workers. The hike was fantastic and views stunning and it was worth it as their tombs are decorated with simpler things like cows and things that the common man would appreciate. Paul eevntually advised us that we should all leave one of the smaller tombs down several flights of stairs... I thought it was because he was getting claustrophobic but it turned out that he had just let rip the stinkiest fart in the world. We all caught a whiff, ran like hell and felt very sorry for the folks who were passing us on their way down who were in for certain death by suffocation.

We went to an Africa restaurant for lunch and I went home for a well deserved nap.
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