An Unexpected Trip To The Doctor, Part 2

Trip Start Jan 11, 2012
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Trip End Jun 20, 2012


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Flag of United States  , Hawaii
Sunday, May 6, 2012



Finding a lump on my right breast and going to the doctor has made me be more reflective than ever.  I started out this year wanting to be bigger than I've known myself to be-to live outrageously.  I wanted to travel the world with my family, have countless adventures and explore new territories.  I wanted to have fun!  Hawaii was supposed to be our first stop, and after 3 1/2 months we are still here with no immediate plans to leave.

I thought living outrageously was going to be about traveling and exploring the outer world.  Boy was I mistaken.  What I am discovering is that to live outrageously for me is an inner and outer exploration.

I'm finding that my spirit cares more about who I am in the world, not what I do.  Traveling is great, but who I am being when things don't go my way?  I see this period as an opportunity to fortify my beliefs and practices.  To ask questions like "what am I to learn from this?"  "Am I being outrageous in my life?"  "how can I be different, or do things differently?"

It's kind of fun taking on these questions.  In the past, I would have completely isolated myself while going through something like this. Now, I'm choosing to share so that someone else may be inspired by my story.  And to allow people to contribute to me.  I've always loved being supportive of others, but have felt weak if I needed support.  Now I'm challenging myself to stand in the center of the arena and be loved.

So am I being outrageous--yes, but not in ways I would have thought.

I'm also being called to trust in my prosperity like never before.  I had gotten quite comfortable knowing I would have a certain amount of money each month while in Atlanta.  But since we've been in Hawaii, I haven't been working and don't have a regular source of income.  I've chosen to find my passion and follow my heart's desires versus just doing what I've done in the past.  I'm finding this takes discipline, because often times I crave the security of a paycheck.  Ultimately, I know we have always been well provided for and have never gone without. My choice then is to stand in we are well provided for.  I am determined to be different about my life!

The past couple of weeks remind me of the following Buddhist fable:

Once upon the time there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.“Maybe,” the farmer replied.The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed.“Maybe,” replied the old man.The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.“Maybe,” answered the farmer.The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.“Maybe,” said the farmer.

I like this fable because it reminds me to stay out of judgment about appearances.  In the end, I don't know what anything is for.  I set an intention for this year to live a certain way, now I get to experience the magnificent unfoldment of my life. 
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Comments

Doreene on

I would say that was beautiful, but I know your response would be "maybe!" : >

William on

Liing and being "outrageous" takes many forms. I am truly blessed to be sharing this journey of exploration with you and you family.

William on

Oops... Where is spell check when I need it... LIVING AND BEING.

Faye on

Hi guys! You are happy and that means so much. You have begun an incredible journey and the outcome can only be great. I can only image how good you must feel. Most people never get to experience what you are living and the emotional journey.

My best,

Aloha!

Ursula on

I am so inspired every time I read one of your entries. Today's was heartfelt and truly reflective of your "Aha" moments. Continue your exploration knowing that you are guided in joy and prosperity by a Higher Power. I also related to that Buddhist story............................"Maybe."

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