Sex, Sex, Sex
Trip Start Jul 03, 2007
13Trip End Jul 24, 2007
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I am trying really hard to like the Tanzanians, the guide book says they are friendly, well the guide book is wrong so far as I can tell. The de facto greeting in Arusha is 'have you booked a safari'. Wankers.
Dar-es-Salaam conjured up wonderful, romantic images - Dhouws bobbing in the harbour, spices wafting, etc. Its a shit hole. Whilst sweating my arse off in Dar I was offered a discount on a safari to the Serengeti to see the wildebeest stampede across the plains - there were injuries as I stampeded to my room to pack. Arusha here I come.
I arrived after a 10 hour bus journey aboard a 'luxury' coach, what can you say about a 10 hour bus journey, well this basically - it was awful. I did not understand a word anyone said it was like they were talking Swahili, oh hang on a mo, they were talking Swahili!! Regular readers to this blog may recall the bus journey in Zambia where I had two very uncomfortable positions, well on my luxury bus I had one - back straight, knees jammed into the seat in front. However, luck was on my side as when Mr Chubby got on, guess where his seat was - right next to me; he then fell asleep and snored. Later in the journey he left his seat and stood up near the front, great he's leaving I thought, wrong - we were about to stop for food and Mr Chubby wanted to be off first. Fat git.
During my 10.5 hours (scheduled 8 hours) of purgatory I came up with the following disadvantages of being tall when travelling.............
- no leg room
- beds always too short
- ceilings on buses too low
- tents too short
- airplane toilets too small
The advantages are that you rarely get hassled.
Here is my Guide to negotaiting a reduced taxi fare, late at night, after a 10.5 bus journey:
1) Sling bags into cab and jump in
2) Request a price, divide my 3 and make an offer
3) When cabbie refuses, threaten to get another cab, leap out, unload bags and seek another cab
4) Realise that there is only ONE cab, and the driver is looking straight at me
5) Jump back in, agree to his price, proceed 200 yards up the road to your hotel.
So long, I'm off to the Serengeti............