Mendenhall Glacier

  Juneau, Alaska
Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Debs: Ok, so...........apparently you just can't visit Juneau without checking out Mendenhall Glacier, so we did! We also later renamed it Tim the Glacier, not only because it's easier to say, but also because we're sure we were the first to discover it, and to honour Tim's memory because that's all we have since Matt cruelly melted him (and we ate him!) Anyway, there was an easy flat track around the east side of the Glacier or a 3.5 mile hike/scramble with a climb of 1300 ft around the west side, guess which we chose?!



So we set off fully prepared for the harsh Alaskan conditions with hiking boots, thermals, skiing jackets and, of course, our packed lunch! Oh yes, the packed lunch! We found a brilliant bagel shop with a vast variety of bagels and fillings, Matt chose the garlic bagel! Now we think they should possibly include a disclaimer when purchasing said bagel, or at least a warning along the lines of........... you, your bag, the rest of your lunch, your clothes and actually anything within a 10mile radius of this bagel will smell so disgustingly of garlic that you will want to vomit everytime you approach it.....nice! Even plastic ziplocked bags smelt bad, amazing pentrative garlic!

Now I'm not quite sure how the tap dancing on the pavement thing started, but let me tell you Matt 'aint no tap dancing natural, he looks somewhat like a special dog trying to pee on a lamp post whilst doing breast stroke, talented boy that one! It's a wonder we made it to the beginning of the hike at all given we hopped part of the way as well, it was the only way my right hiking boot would stop squeaking! So having hopped to the trail beginning we started our ascent.

The path was mainly a rocky climb with large unpredictable patches of snow and ice overlying streams. We invented 2 new games....."find the really deep hole full of snow", Matt was very good at this one, and also "find the really deep hole full of snow with a stream at the bottom of it, Matt was good at this one too! Now, having expected it to be chilly in the least, we were wearing several layers of clothes including thermals. Within 30minutes the blistering heat was just too much to cope with (yes people, it gets sunny and hot in Alaska), let the shedding of the layers begin! Needless to say, the photo that Matt sneakily took of Poppy and I in the middle of the path removing our thermal leggings (oh yes I had my trousers down!) will not be posted, sorry guys! (Matt: Disclaimer, the photos were taken as a potential investment. Prints available at £10 + P&P) (Poppy: As a point of interest, i am fully clothed in these photos as I was able to finish changing before Matt overcame his apparently innate gentlemanly instincts, stopped looking the other way and started getting his camera out, unfortunately Debs was just a bit too slow!) With now just the most minimal of entire we continued our treck, only (within the next 30 minutes) to encounter hail! Yes people, it's hot, we're sweating, and it's hailing, this place is so unpredictable!

The rest of our ascent was mainly uneventful, though the views of the glacier were stunning (Tim would have loved it up there!) Matt perfected the art of "gliding"! Do not be fooled, though to the untrained eye it might appear like he's slipping and out of control, it is not so! The gliding repertoire was endless, with the side-glide, the forward-glide, the forward-glide into a lunge (my personal favourite) and the forward-glide climaxing in a full lunge with the front foot buried and stuck in a stream (no photos I'm afraid!)

Having consumed our garlic impregnated lunch (thanks again for that Matt) we started our descent. It was on our way down we encountered a prickly customer (sorry I couldn't resist the bad pun), a porcupine!! He didn't seem overly bothered by our presence so we followed him into the bushes to watch him a little, just chewing a twig and scratching a tree, very sweet and quite spikey (unsurpisingly).

We took a little detour on our way down the mountain as, although we had an amazing view of Tim the Glacier, we wanted to get closer. (Poppy: We had also been told about some ice caves that you could get to somewhere at the edge of the glacier. We didn't however have any concrete directions, had been told that quite a few people get lost around there and that you shouldn't really go in them without a guide as it can be dangerous so when we saw a tiny side track heading towards the glacier we decided that this was an obvious route to explore! It was quite fortunate that we saw it actually because I was all for striking our own path through the trees which with hindsight might have been a little foolish!) So we headed off the beaten track and courtesy of some ribbons in the trees (follow the ribbons we cried!) managed to reach the actual glacier, man they're big close up! Little glacial education now....... they're made of ice (shocking I know) and at their limits where they meet land they start to calve (big chunks break off), fissures form and sections melt away near the land forming ice caves (can you see where this is going?)



Now it's not recommended to enter these caves as they can collapse, covering you with an immense amount of dense ice and likely killing you , if not straight away then slowly with suffocation and hypothermia........oh well, do as we say not as we do!




Ice caves are amazing!! They are an intense blue colour due to the refraction/absorption of the light, and the insides are scalloped and totally smooth ice ( the outsides are rough and crumbly), I'm sure the photos will not do these caves justice, they were stunning, and totally worth the risk (sorry Mum!).





So a little tired but smug (we discovered a glacier remember) we ambled back to the bus stop fully prepared for a relaxing quiet night in. If only we had had known we were about to embark upon possibly the most distressing bus journey of our lives! At first the bus appeared normal, rows of seats, a driver with yellow tinted shades and a girl wearing a tiara (we don't know why either!) As we took our seats little did we know we had unwittingly positioned ourselves right in front of the most ignorant, bullshitting, scrawny, gay (don't get us wrong, just trying to create a picture here, your sexuality is fine by us!) boy in the history of the world, and MAN COULD HE TALK! So are here are just a few gems of wisdom form the Alaskan IDIOT!

1) "Leona Lewis is like the leading artist in the whole world, she was on this like talent show thing in the UK and this horrible ugly man , I think he does American idol too, said she would be big in America, and now she's huge, I love her!"
2) "Black widow spiders are like the size of my fist! And if you get bitten by one you have exactly 30 minutes before you die!"
3) "My brother got bitten by a black widow once, but we got him to hospital in half an hour so he was ok."
4) "My brother also ripped his own spleen out once, and then sucked the rest of the blood out with a tube. Now he has injections once every 5 years to purify his blood" (anyone any ideas?!)
5) Friend on bus : "I've ben stabbed in the heart 3 times!"
6) Same friend: "I'm on chemotherapy that stops my arthritis in its tracks!"
7) Above friend: "All these drugs are killing me, I'm going to die!"
8) On the subject of rugby: "It's like the most brutal game, you can do anything except punch, you can only pass the ball when you're running backwards and not ONE player has all his own teeth!"
9) One for the vets out there: "Akitas and Pitbulls are the most affectionate and friendly family dogs!" (I mean....come on!)

I must quote Poppy (because she is wise beyond her years): " Get me off this f**king bus NOW!"

We have now all concluded that public transport is indeed for peasants!