T(issues)

Trip Start Mar 11, 2011
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Trip End Ongoing


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Where I stayed
Piha Domain Motor Lodge

Flag of New Zealand  , North Island,
Thursday, March 31, 2011

Our arrival was perfectly timed to enjoy breathtaking Piha by sunset. Surfer silhouettes against a multi-coloured backdrop. A spectacular but scary beach! The waves are all over the place, coming in/out from all angles. Easy to see why a lifesaver reality TV show is based here called Piha Rescue.

Piha was way too close to the big city of Auckland for us to even contemplate free(dom) camping. It was already dark. We had little choice but to stay at the Piha Domain Motor Lodge. But we wouldn't again in a hurry nor would we recommend it to our worst enemy. I'll give you 10 (yes, 10!) reasons directly quoted from their 4-page "Conditions of Entry". It totally negated the "Welcome" bit at the beginning. It includes all CAPITALS and exclamation marks!!! plus our replies in brackets.
 
1. "We want you to feel that you are on holiday and not in a police state, however some people wreck this by having no consideration for others, anti-social antics or by just generally behaving like turkeys." (Not a police state, you say? Riiiiight!) 

2. "Our preferred guests are mature campers and families." (Not us then?!).... "Backpackers and campervans are our most rapidly expanding group of clients" (So we're the ones keeping you in business? How do you feel about THAT?) 
 
3. "No one under age 20 unless you have a parent staying close by who will supervise you. No ID, no entry." (So even though the law acknowledges them as adults, you don't?)

4. "You want to camp like a tip - go to the tip!! You can expect anything left cluttering up workbenches or dirty dishes to be thrown in the bin. I am the camp mother, not your mother!" (You sure sound like someone's mother, but not mine!)

5. "Music is to be kept at a minimum level - you want to thrash the stereo - do it at your house." (Ok, mom *pout* but my house is your house, right?)

6. "Vehicles are not to go faster than 10kph, and yes I will know if you start driving like an idiot when you think I can't see you. Then your car can stay out on the road and it is not to move at all after dark." (But mooooom! *eye rolling*)
 
7. "Alcohol use will only be allowed in moderation, if you want to get drunk, obnoxious and loud - stay home. We reserve the right to inspect your vehicle and not to allow more than 6 standard drinks each into the camp." (But mom, all my friends are doing it!!)

8. "We reserve the right to charge a $100.00 per person good behaviour bond, fully refundable when you depart having behaved yourself!!" (Can't you just ground me instead?)
 
9. "Bedtime - after 10.30SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH, and try not to move around, it really disturbs people who are trying to sleep." (But mom, Piha Rescue is on telly!)

10. And my personal favourite experience at this place was taking a shower: They are set on a 6-minute timer. Fair enough as we're all for water conservation. I considered it a challenge! So I got into the cubicle, organised my stuff for maximum efficiency and activated the water mechanism. On your marks, get set, go! The water went on, and the lights went out! But there was no time to panic. Time is water. Besides I know where everything is. So I just grabbed the soap and held on for dear life! 

Initially we were taken aback by all this but it's given us lots to laugh about. We don't have enough tissues for these people's issues. Sounds like it's time to get out of the service industry, folks!
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Comments

mary on

i like this lady,sounds like me!

Laura on

Genius! Loving her sense of humour... Sounds just like the gaucho on our ranch in Uruguay who was always flagging off city slickers, being rude about princesses and blondes

Rob on

Haha, and now at number six on Google searching 'Piha Domain Motor Lodge' it comes up with this part of your blog....

thelees
thelees on

LMAO! Just had a look! That's heeelarious!

thelees
thelees on

Hehe...sounds like a groucho gaucho! Hope you're well, Laura, been thinking of you this week! Please email me an update on your adventures! mwah!

Emma M on

They sound like right Nazis!

Shaunee on

You VILL be QUIET and have FUN in an ORDERLY fashion! :-D

thelees
thelees on

work you? or home you? LOL x

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