Me and Thirteen Monks

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  Ban Phe, Thailand
Monday, October 8, 2007

I taught thirteen monks English yesterday. When I arrived they all stood and chanted, "Hello, teacher." I think I must have blushed a thousand shades of red before I could answer, "Welcome Students." These young monks (between the ages of 14-18) come from all over the country to study at the temple where I have been practiing teaching. They usually come from very poor families or are orphans. Their faces are very sweet and kind. And they are extremely interested in you.

They follow a strict code of rules.

1. They wake up at 4:30 AM and go into town to beg for food.
2. They aren't allowed to sleep on a mattress. They sleep on the floor.
3. They aren't allowed to wear any kind of cologne or deodorant. They cannot cover their scent.
4. After 12:30 PM they cannot have anything to eat but tea or water.
5. They aren't allowed to touch a woman, You can't even hand them a piece of paper.
6. No stealing.
7. No lying.
8. No Killing ANYTHING.
9. No television/movies (plays are acceptable).
10. One other one that I cannot remember. I think no substances (alcohol, nicotine, etc.)

These Monks are extremely well behaved. And despite all these seemingly very hard rules to follow they are never without a smile. I have seen groups of them in tears from laughing so hard. Of course this is the Thai way.

So, I am supposed to teach them English. I have my lesson plan. A lesson plan that I must say is very boring and mandatory that I use it to pass the course. Basically, I model a dialogue.

Q. What did you do on your last vacation?
A. I went surfing.
Q. Where did you go?
A.I went to Koh Samed.
Q. How did you get there?
A I went on a plane,

To go with this dialogue you draw pictures. I cannot draw. I tried to draw a man scuba diving and I drew a muppet with wings. It's bad. I mean really bad. So, here I am with this terrible lesson plan, with a terrible dialogue, in a hundred degree heat, sweating profusely and I almost touch a monk. I'm a touchy girl. I grew up in a family who hugged each other all the time. I use touch to tell people that I need to get by them. I use touch to tell someone I'm listening. My hands have been around.

I go to hand a Monk a marker to write on the board and we proceed to do a little dance. He jumps back. I jump back. I drop the marker. We both go to pick up the marker. We are in engaging in some sort of tribal sweat lodge two step that has the entire room in tears. I feel horrified. I've disgraced myself, Buddha, my student. I just know that the Head Monk will ask me to leave.

I must say that it bothers me that I can't hand him a marker. I am not unclean. I do not want to engage in an elicit affair. I just want to get through my lesson. But I respect their rules. I am afraid that the feminist in me doesn't like it.

After this little dance the Monks loved me. They gave me a long Wai after the lesson. And now they all say hello to me.

I finally attached some pictures.

Aloy Mak Mai

Amber

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