Samui - Elephant shows her love for Stu
Trip Start Aug 27, 2011
19Trip End Ongoing
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We arrived at the pier in Samui and were inundated with taxi people trying to get us to our destination. One driver tried to sell a private taxi for 700 baht, why when we can get a share taxi for 100 each!! Plonker!!
We got in the shared taxi and it seemed that everyone was going to Akwa Guest house. Oh no we thought, its going to be busy. Then it turned out that they were not going to Akwa but to Ak-Bar, phew, funny how things can get lost in translation.
We arrived at our accommodation and it was as the pictures were (you can never be too sure in Thailand) we checked in and this time we had 2 rooms for the 3 of us, we went to our rooms and it was like we had walked in to a young teenagers room, toys on the bed, quirky paintings on the walls and bright colors - this was great, we also had AC, TV and warm shower again.
The first afternoon we just had a wonder down the main strip of Chaweng beach, lots of DVD stalls, Restaurants and resorts, loads of tat to buy basically. The Wales-Australia game was on this day as well and we managed to find a pub to watch it, shame we lost but that's life hey...
We decided to get a massage, this was nice, and then booked for a 4x4 day trip the following day, they said that if there was extreme weather conditions it would be cancelled.
We woke up the following morning at 7am and looked out side, it was pissing it down, people were filling sandbags and it was thundering, we thought ah they will cancel it, we rang them they were not canceling it, but we changed it to the next day just in case. We spent this day wandering around the streets, and getting more massages as after all what else there to do in Thailand when it rains! We all decided to go and have the 2 hour hot stone massage which actually took about 2.5 hours and was well worth the extra money, only 1000 baht each (which is 20 pound) If you are thinking of getting one of these massages at home and think it is to expensive, stop worrying they are definitely worth the extra money you will pay at home.
In the evening the 3 of us decided that we would go and get Thai food, there was a lovely little Thai restaurant, very cheap, Sally and Cynthia shared a couple of curries and I had my favorite - Pad Thai mmmmmmmmmm all of this came to about 5 pound - bargain.
The next day we got up and it rained lightly but luckily not as bad as the day before, the 4x4 was about 10 minutes late and when it turned up looked like it wouldn’t get up a slope let alone go up a hill off road!!!!!
We got to the first stop on our tour which was an Elephant show and ride, Monkey show and Muai Thai boxing show.
First up the elephant trek - Again, very short, I think Sally liked it but to be honest this was my 3rd and was now just an uncomfortable sit down for me. The guide made us some things out of reed, I got a necklace, Sally got a ring and Cynthia a bracelet. He made all 3 in about 20 minutes very skillful!
Next up was the monkey show, this was basically them showing us how they train the monkeys to go and collect the coconuts from the trees, very cute but I am sure I should be saying something about it not being ethical. See the pictures and make up your own mind.
Then we moved on the Muai Thai boxing, this was basically a 3 minutes show explaining what the boxing is about, how it works and why they do the dance at the beginning, to be fair they did kick the shit out of each other even through it was a show.
Finally the elephant show, this was really good to watch and for some (Stu) even better to be involved in, how often can a man say he got felt up by an elephant (read on to find out)
We arrived at the show and they asked for a volunteer, Stu being Stu was up there like a shot (with a little nudge from Cynthia) and was asked to go and stand in front of the elephant and defend the goal, now being Welsh I knew I was not going to be good in goals, but, Neville Southall, you would been proud. I saved all the shots from the elephant, you might think this sounds easy but trust me, it wasn't. The elephants really can kick that ball hard, wearing shorts whilst playing football against an elephant is not advised either, they kick the ball low and fast and when hitting your leg it stings a lot, but I cant complain, I can now say that I have played football an elephant and won lol
The show carried on after this, with them doing hand stands, walking, playing the harmonica, and showing us the elephant ping pong show (sexy ass they called it, which basically involved the elephant going on their front 2 legs and showing you their ass in the air!!!!)
They then asked all the people to line up and volunteer to have and elephant massage, you basically lie down in front of the elephant and he prods you with his foot, I was told I had to go last as I played football with the elephant I got what they call a "honeymoon" massage - I think you can see where I am going with this.
I was asked to take my top off, not a bad thing for my, but I do feel sorry for all the people who had to see my with my top off, and l had to lay down in front of the elephant. He then started to suck my nipples with his trunk, then started to kiss me with trunk, this was actually really funny but they do smell, you can only imagine what they rummage through with their trunk!!! Then came the finale - I think this was the Honeymoon part - he moved from my lips down to my groin and started well you can use your imagination (OH I DID HAVE SHORTS ON) see pictures.
It was very interesting as when I woke up that morning I never thought I would be able to say I beat an elephant at football and get my balls played with by their trunk!!! One bad thing though was for the rest of the day I stank of what I can only describe as Elephant shit!!!!
We moved on from here and went to what they call the Grand father and Grand Mother Rocks, basically a rock that looks like an erect penis and one that looks like a Vagina - see the pictures and the Vagina one has a scary likeness!!!! one thing that did confuse me though is that they named the penis shaped rock Grandfather, now if you look at this rock and the way it stands, I think the grandfather might have been on Viagra!!!
After this we then went up the mountain to some 4x4 off road, it started off with quite easy roads, then we started to go up and up, we stopped off half way and looked a waterfall, we were meant to go for a swim, but due to all the water from the rain we could not as it was dangerous, so we carried on, at this point me and Cynthia sat on the roof of the safari truck, probably a good thing as we saw a Green snake which very poisonous and Cynthia doesn’t like snakes!!! We carried on and stopped at another place where you could get your photo taken with a baby Tiger and a fully grown Tiger, we did not like this a fully grown tiger was obviously drugged out of his eyeballs for the tourists to be able to sit with them! We quickly moved on.
Cynthia and Sally sat on the top this time, it was very bumpy but the driver was very good, being able to maneuver the shitty 4x4 around and give the girls a fright.
We arrived at what they call the Magic Garden, basically a nice garden that looks like a jungle with some statues - see pictures and you get the idea.
We then moved on to the restaurant, this was part was very muddy and there was parts where the car got stuck, the driver did get us out of the stuck patches though, not with out huge detriment to environment - Black smoke poured out of the exhaust every time he accelerated (photos) it was worth it in the end, we arrived at the restaurant with a lush lunch buffet laid out and an amazing view of the whole island, loads of pictures to be taken at this point.
We then made our way back the mountain and were dropped off at our hotel just in time to watch the last 10 minutes of the world cup final - Good day all around, ooo we also saw a rubber plantation and huge spider that Stu held - see pictures!!!!
The following day Stu went to the Angton National Marine Park and the girls stayed on the island to relax.
The marine park was beautiful, unfortunately the snorkeling was terrible as the weather had churned up the seabed and had made the visibility about 10 cm!!!!!
I got to walk up and see a lovely lagoon, sun bathed and made friends with a Malaysian chap called Chin who used to be a bank manager for HSBC but now changed to a local bank, hello Chin if you are reading this - I hope your ok?
When we got back to Samui we all went out for dinner at a BBQ place, 420 Baht all you can eat ribs, Chicken wings and Kebab skewers mmmmmmm.
The following day we had a flight out of Samui to Phuket. We decided as Sally was only here for a short time to fly rather than take the bus, 30 minutes on a plane or 12 hours on a bus - you decide!!!!!
Our Taxi came to pick us up at 6m to take us to the airport.........