South American love ballads

Trip Start Sep 28, 2011
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Flag of Peru  ,
Thursday, May 10, 2012

I've done little today in Cusco save walk around, take a few snaps and tried to nurse myself back to health, therefore I have decided to pen something I've been meaning to for a while.  This is my genuine attempt to break into the South American music industry, with some atrocious balled in Spanish.  I've enlisted the help of Paddy, a fluent speaker, who will translate my English into the native tongue.  I'm 100% convinced if set to music, I'd have a hit, and would sell out massive stadiums, rammed with screaming girls.  All I'd need would be dark skin, perfectly white teeth and vats of hair gel.

While on the bus to Cusco, the 'entertainment' provided included an aging chap whose name escapes me.  For some unknown reason, he's playing what looks like a sold out gig in Bogota, with thousands of smoking hot women in attendance.  They're all going bat shit crazy for his 'music', which I have the 'pleasure' of listening too with subtitles.  His lyrics go a little something like this:

Your footsteps, my destiny, I will follow you
something about you being his planet
I am on your planet
I am alive because I'm on your planet

I can't remember it verbatim, but that was the gist.  It was truly, truly horrendous, yet he was clearly a superstar.  It got me thinking that I could do just as well.  Here then is my effort to enter the charts in South America.  Translation follows.

Nunca he visto ojos como los tuyos
que ven a través de mí en mi alma
Te amo tanto que me duele la cabeza
y yo te seguiría a dondequiera que vayas
incluyendo su cuarto de baño
a pesar de que podría ser un poco raro
Espero que usted pensó que linda

Sólo Dios sabe cuánto Te amo
excepto que ahora no porque yo lo digo en esta canción
Me siento como un poco de un acosador cuando miro sus fotos durante horas
pero no te preocupes que sólo se masturban una vez al día para

Me pregunto si usted está usando nada de ropa interior
Me pregunto si usted piensa de mí desnuda
Me gustaría que me amaba tanto como Te amo
Si no lo hace, voy a matarnos a los dos para que podamos estar juntos en el cielo para siempre

Sólo Dios sabe cuánto Te amo
excepto que ahora no porque yo lo digo en esta canción
Me siento como un poco de un acosador cuando miro sus fotos durante horas
pero no te preocupes que sólo se masturban una vez al día para

Si sólo le quedaba mirando por la ventana mientras yo voy a cambiar
Si sólo le quedaba mirando por la ventana mientras yo voy a cambiar x 4

Porque eso es lo que puedo hacer por ti x2

I think that's pretty damn good.  Here is the English version, thanks to Google translate, which can be a bit dodgy:

I've never seen eyes like yours
that see right through me into my soul
I love you so much it hurts my head
and I would follow you everywhere you go
including your bathroom
even though that might be a bit creepy
I would hope you thought it cute

Only god knows how much I love you
except now you do because I'm telling you in this song
I feel like a bit of a stalker when I look at your pictures for hours
but don't worry I only masturbate once a day to them

I wonder if you're wearing any underwear
I wonder if you think of me naked
I wish you loved me as much as I love you
If you don't, I'll kill us both so we can be together in heaven forever

Only god knows how much I love you
except now you do because I'm telling you in this song
I feel like a bit of a stalker when I look at your pictures for hours
but don't worry I only masturbate once a day to them

If only you'd stare through my window while I'm changing
If only you'd stare through my window while I'm changing x 4

Because that's what I do for you x2

Repeat to fade and the sound of police sirens.

If anyone knows of a good music producer I think we could have a hit.  We could knock up a sloppy tune and find a good looking guy to sing it.  It's better than that Portugese number doing the rounds anyway.

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