You pick up the soap honey!!!

Trip Start Oct 06, 2004
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Trip End Ongoing


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Flag of Colombia  ,
Wednesday, November 2, 2005

I'm on my way to the ATM, when I stop by a street vendor to buy some chewing gum. Suddenly two policemen start talking to me and the vendor, and tell us that they want to search us both for drugs. I have heard about stories like this before. A couple of corrupt police stop you in the street and start searching you for drugs. Then they plant some drugs on you which they surprisingly find a few seconds later. To top off the search, they give you the option to either pay up big time or spend a few years in a Colombian prison. Hmm, that's a tough one...

Shit, this is just great!, I think. This particular night it smells corrupt police from here and all the way to Barranquilla (the winding route and not as the toucan flies). While searching me, one of the policemen bends down and pick up a tiny plastic bag with something looking like cocaine inside. I have no idea where the bag came from, did the cop just drop it on the street when I didn't look? He starts to open the bag, and I think, here we go..., it's off to jail or go home penniless tomorrow. In fact I am starting to sweat quite a bit. He starts to sniff the contents of the bag, and I expect him to say "Hey Gringo, where did you buy this cocaine?". But for some unexplainable reason he just throws the bag away and doesn't mention it again. They continue to search me, but find nothing but chewing gum and money. As I have had a few beers, I get the confidence to talk to them. In my best Spanish I explain how I am just a tourist who have never tried drugs. I hate drugs I tell them, and I don't have my passport on because I am afraid to get robbed. And of course I love Colombia, there's no thieves here. But you still need police of course, they are very important, claro, and the police are very friendly. Yes, I have tried the local food, of course it's the best! The women, yes, they are very friendly and beautiful. Maybe the best of the lot. Norway is very nice too, but cold. You can come and visit me, but come in the summer. July and August are great, we can have a beer, I'll buy. Hey guys, it's hot tonight, do you want a Coca Cola maybe??? Yes???, ok lets go... Maybe I am just a bit drunk, but I think I play the role brilliantly. Like a spoiled kid crying his way to the biggest and most colorful ice cream. And my Spanish is close to fluent on this particular night. Of course I'll carry my passport with me at all times, yes sir, you can count on it, have a nice evening and good night officers!

I don't know, but maybe I was just two ice cold Coca Cola and a puppy eye away from that shower scene you see in all prison movies... You pick up the soap honey!!!
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