Holiday or Nazi Death Camp i'll let you decide

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Trip Start Apr 27, 2006 Previous
Entry Trip End Dec 25, 2009

  WHIGHERPLEASE, Wallis and Futuna
Monday, August 21, 2006

Today was the day. My bags packed, my shoes shined, my girlfriend more drugged up than an epiletic social worker on crack and gin. I was going on holiday baby. I met up with Sly in the morning for a quick ice mocca (you know the one where they use that fresh double whipped cream, not too much just enough to make my balls tingle and those sprinkles on top ummmm so good it makes me forget about those laxatives i fed to those blind pensioners yesterday. I give Sly our usual tradtional goodbye which would entail me slapping him round the face with a satin glove briskly followed by Sly covering me in white spirit setting me alight and watching me run with great amusment as i try to jump into the local stream before i aquire third degree burns. Oh Sly you kidder that never grows old. I met up with the guys at the airport at 11 0 clock (grenich mean time bitch). I alredy sense a bit of tension between me and the other guys dammit sims how could you forget the pantomine theme. As I look at my chums I see jack and creamer paired together to make the classic pantomine horse, Pierre modelling a classic Alladin ensemble, Nick as widow Twanky and Jack dressed as a giant penis (so no change there then HEY OH!)
the girls look equally unamused but I offer to buy them lunch as way of an apology, did I mention today's special would be spaghetti a la Ketamin complete with chorloform a lorange. By the time the flight takes off they're so drugged up i even get away with getting a highly amusing photo of my genitlas in each of their mouths. We arrive at our destination. A glourious place dare I say a little too glourious. The rooms at the hotel are even nicer and then, weel ummm.....sorry my heart really isn't in it this today.  For arguments sake our meal on the first night was drugged we got robbed and for the next ten days we were melestered, beaten and focred to work for five vietneeese hobo cannibalised pimps to round up enough money to get home. and we did eventually.   Apart from Jack.   He got eaten or raped one to the two cant remember which and frankly i dont care.

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