Coming home feels like coming into a new country..

Trip Start Oct 29, 2006
1
135
Trip End Jul 09, 2009


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Flag of Germany  , Hesse,
Thursday, July 9, 2009


 I'm back..

That sounds so strange.. 

When I stepped into that plane, I felt like a little world is ending in that moment. As if that was the end of freedom and adventure, as if I'll never be able to make anybody understand what has happened to me.

I was sitting there in the middle of all those 1 week or 2 week holiday tourists, who argued about the weather and their hotels. And that's exactly what people will think of if I start talking about my trip. But it's nothing like that and they won't ever be able to understand, cause they haven't experienced anything like it. I have no answer to the question, "So how was it?" What the hell do you want me to say? I lived, thank you.

So there it goes, all those memories locked up safely in my brain and only my brain. I wish I could talk with someone about it.. but it's not gonna happen, I know. I learned from Montana.

I just hope I can stay out of that hamster wheel, I just hope I'll stay observing the mess and one day maybe return to Freo...

I know there'll be pressure, people will ask what happens next and all I can do is smile and shake my head. Life comes to you, you don't know what you want until you find yourself doing it. I know it won't be enough for mum to just smile and shake my head, she wants an answer, as you do in Germany. You always gotta know what you want, you always have to have a plan. I remember again what I ran from..

I just don't want somebody to tell me to do something. I do things, all the time. I don't need anybody to tell me to do things that I'm doing anyway.

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Little interruption... I don't know why that just crossed my way, but I fell over a page, while I was clicking through Jason Mraz's insights. 
 
 That's the page: http://www.kabalarians.com/index.cfm 

Now guess what it said.. I was sorta shocked..


Your First Name of: Yvonne
Below is just a brief analysis of the first name only. For an analysis and assessment of your 
full name, see our Name Report service for further details. Remember to give us your review below. Thank you!

Your name of Yvonne creates a desire for association with people and new experiences, many of which have been rather bitter. This name has given you a gregarious personality and a quick-thinking, creative, and versatile nature, but one that is very emotional.
 You desire change and travel and would enjoy opportunities that allowed you to be creative and to act independently, rather than to conform to system and routine.
 However, this name does not allow you to complete your undertakings, as farther fields always look greener.
While the name Yvonne creates the urge to create harmony with people, we call attention to the fact that it causes a restless intensity that defies relaxation.This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems, and solar plexus.
 The above is a brief analysis and assessment of the first name only. We urge you to consider the vital influence of both your first name and surname - which combine to create the overall mental, physical, and financial conditions in your life. It is a vitally important that you get a 
complete name analysis and assessment of your first and last names combined in a detailed Name Report.
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Could a random picked page be more accurate??? Oh and I asked facebook what the hell I should study, it said sociology. You know what, maybe I'll just do that..

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Well, I've been thinking a lot about what to study or in which job to work. I've been applying here and there, no luck, no wonder I wasn't really into all that. My problem is that everything that seems appealing to me you'd need a different educational history. Too bad I'm a freaking business engineer who wants to be an artist..

The whole topic got on my nerves, so I escaped into visiting old friends and family. Too bad it reappeared after visiting all those people. 

Visiting them showed me another thing though, they don't understand me, they never will, they can't. You need the experience to be able to imagine. I didn't expect them to understand either, it's just that .. I don't know.. maybe I was looking for a little empathy, of course I couldn't find any, but even though I knew that, it made me a little sad. 
 
After chatting to a good friend of mine in New Zealand the only thing I wanted to do was leave again. So to really get away from this issue I simply booked a ticket, just because I could ;)

And then something crazy happened..
 
 [to be continued]
 
Slideshow Report as Spam
Where I stayed
at Mum's

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