Lost in translation

Trip Start Jan 23, 2006
1
8
22
Trip End Mar 23, 2006


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Flag of Uruguay  ,
Thursday, February 2, 2006

Paysandu is a small town of about 60 000 which tends to be rather sleepy from Sunday to Thursday. My family Who lives here Was absolutely amazing The ones we stayed with are doing very well in life and run some pharmacies. I also Met a cousin of mine named maxamilliano. funny story... (long but worth the read)

my uncles a funny guy, but he is right i had one of the most bizarre
nights of my life, last night as you could say fact is funnier then fiction.

lots has been going on but this email is gonna be primarily about my
experience going out with my cousin maxamillion last night.
The night began innocently enough, he drove to a gas station and we grab a couple of
40oz to roll around with, in his lil jeep of his, he says the deal down here
is you can drink and drive "BUT NO CRASH" if you crash you could
get into some additional trouble.
then we went the only place in paysandu that there was a party on whatever night last night was, yeah its all blurry these days... way to much booze... anyways this place is a trip

picture an island in the middle of 2 streets where all the young people pull up with
there cars and get drunk, outside, even tippier is theres a lil window shop
across the street that sells all the young people booze, its so chilled
out, reminds me of my younger days, so every things going pretty good

We got pretty hammered, i met his friends, met a girl who wanted my number, and
didn't understand that i had no cell phone in Uruguay, so i gave her my msn,
i think the funniest thing about all this was she spoke zero English.
With every drunken night the dumber i been getting, none the less
somehow i been managing.

so the night continues no clue what time it is but
i'm pretty sure its extremely late when one of my cousins friends challenges
me to a drinking contest, well not to be one who backs down form a
challenge, i accept, the deal is whoever drinks 1 liter of beer the fastest
wins, i don't remember what the prize was, its pretty blurry, coz this was now
gonna be my 5th 1 liter of beer plus i had a bunch of shots of tequila and
rye, so yeah i was pretty faded
To make my victory even more proclaimed told him I'm gonna kick his ass so bad, that i'm even gonna drink it with a straw.
confident in my straw chugging skills from my days playing punk rock bingo at
filthies, i beat him so badly he pukes 3 times but insisted on going i was
done and he wasn't even close to half way. foolish Uruguayan doesn't realize how
much beer us Canadian boys can take in.

so anyway i know everyones thinking "why is this so crazy whats he talking about thats actually kinda boring".

Heres where the night really took a Drunken Stumble to the left, most of the people have
left including the girls, i ask where the girls went, he tells me the women
are gone home the only ones left at the bars are gays and transvestites.

i hear, hey lets go to the bar and pick up some gays and transvestites... yeah
and it gets better, so this makes me really tense, and i demand to go
home, but he had just lost his cell phone, which is very expensive in south
America, so hes getting short with me and i'm getting short with him, both of
us extremely wasted, finally we get into his jeep and he starts to drive me
home and hes driving like a nut job coz hes frustrated and really drunk, and
i just want to get the (insert curse) home.

he ends up taking a wrong turn, the uncle whos house i was staying at was in the country, so he gets lost, he stops the car trying to tell me that we are lost, I'm very drunk and not really following, so I'm trying to go to what i think is the place i'm sleeping at.
Suddenly him and his buddy start pulling on me, so i push them and they push me back,
and it starts to get pretty rough, his buddy jumps me from the side and i
fall into the ditch, the road was kinda elevated, as this happens, my
cousins button breaks on his pants and his pants drop, (his mom had earlier
told him not to wear those pants out coz they were old and falling apart) So
i'm on the ground in the ditch and i look up and see him with his pants off,
and in my dunking state.
i think to myself "Ok im in the middle of no where, he wanted to goto a gay bar, and now him and a buddy have me in a ditch in the middle of no where and he dropped his
pants", so i freak out, and start yelling at him, that i want to go home RIGHT
NOW, some words are exchanged, but neither of us have the vocabulary in
either language, to communicate what the heck is going on, he finally talks me
into getting back into the car, takes me home, i hope the fence and go home,
really worked up, not understanding what had just taken place, and having
drank WAY to much.


So i go home to goto bed, wake up really confused, and really hung
over, and try to put together what exactly had taken place the previous
night, unsuccessful i decide to sleep the day away, i wake up again at about
5 not wanting to "out" my cousin out of the closest, i try to just forget and
move forward, i was going to salto the following day, but i guess he was
really hurt by what had gone on not knowing why i freaked on him, from his
point of view it was all very innocent, HAD IT Translated correctly so his
mom calls her sister, the people i was staying at, and they try to piece
the night together, still very confused his mother tells him to start from the
beginning and tell her everything that happened, after hearing the whole
story, she starts laughing and says i probably thought he was gay and... yeah
so she calls back at the place i was staying, and with both sides of the
story everyone feels much better, and it turned out to be pretty
funny.
we went for dinner, and everyone couldn't stop laughing, at me.
other highlights of the trip recently my uncle who's house i'm staying at took
us out on his boat on the river, we drove around on that for a while, and
chilled at an island sandbar in the middle of the river, which was just a
breath taking image and there was only about 5 people on the island coz it
was in the middle of the work day, I'm told on the weekends its extremely
full, and i got a e-mail back from the Argentinian girl she wants me to
call her and go out.
I'm going to email her back and try to see if i can get her
to come to Montevideo.
I'm sure theres so much more i have forgotten but man everyday has been so packed with things going on.
oh a lil side note,
i just remembered about while in Argentina in BsAs we hope into a cabbie and hes just
blaring this English song that the lyrics are "I'm gonna f*ck you and then
I'm gonna f*ckin your tight f*ckin p*ssy, and the cursing continued, lol he
couldn't understand what the song was saying which made it pretty funny to me.

anyways I'm off to salto tomorrow, then maybe punta del esta for the weekend.
Take care everyone hopefully you get a good laugh, myself I'm taking a few
days off the beer, 1 week straight of binging was brutal i have gotten so
dumb and am no longer picking up any Spanish in fact i think i lost some so
its time to give my body a lil break, its just hard coz if you turn people
down they take it really hard and everyone wants to have a drink with you
coz your from so far away.

hasta luego

Brian
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