Looking for a Dog
Trip Start Jun 03, 2006
132Trip End Jun 03, 2009
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Different people react in different ways to the feeling of loss, bewilderment and fear at this kind of loss. The buzz of a few beers is replaced by an uncomfortable sobriety. Some need instant action, others - myself included - need to try to figure out the possibilities, plan how we can use time and people most effectively and to cover home base in case the little fellow suddenly scuttles home. It is a selfish hope that you can be the one to give the happy phone call, "found him." Different responses perhaps, but all driven by desperation. I cannot imagine how people must feel to lose a child.
The next morning, there is still no dog and a sick feeling deep down tells me the truth that inquisitive as they are, dogs don't miss their home and food voluntarily. I don't know what to do but go for a walk in hope and vaguely head towards the friends I've promised to meet. The walk is a time for reflection. In sadness, fear and desperation, it is amazing how fast people's brains race, the impossible promises that are made, and the callous statements that are made.
The dog has sadly not reappeared, and sadly never will, although we know not where Harry is now, nor what became of him. Amidst the happy memories, there is sadness, yet there is also something that I have not yet come to terms with although I must if I will stay in China longer: it is indifference. My life has been in modern Britain, a nation of eccentric (?) animal lovers and whilst not unique in that respect it is hard to reconcile with the status quo in China where domestic animals earn little respect. Hearing someone laugh at the news of a dog's disappearance and the obstruction of attempts to find him is something that will haunt me for a long time.