Trouble in Paradise

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  Koh Deutschland, Thailand
Saturday, January 10, 2009

On my return to Koh Deutschland, I found it is still living up to it's name in full force. I've also found that the little German that I've learned over the past year is not really very useful in understanding full speed conversations. As with many other nationalities, when you get lots of them together, they tend to stick together. It's OK when they are on their own, but when they group together it's a bit too much. Even though I was only joking with Stephan Loesse last year for infesting my island with German and German speakers, it really is not good to have so many of a single language spoken anywhere. When you couple that with the lack of Q and her mom running my bungalows this year, it's just not the same. I longed for last year when there was a small point in time when we, Anglophiles, took over in numbers when a sudden influx of Canadians hit the beach. It was good to be in the majority again. I considering leaving after 2 weeks since the visa rules had changed once again in Thailand and they are only giving "15" days for land border crossings. Unfortunately, I had already booked a flight to Macau on Airasia and you can't change flights on Airasia unless you want to essentially book a whole new flight.

Nicknames

Scissor Sisters - 2 Canadian girls that spent most of their time sitting together in their 1 hammock

Drunk Girl - English girl that was drunk and on Valium for the first 3 or 4 days straight making a nuisance of herself and blowing smoke at me

The Russian - Naked girl of unknown origin that walked around in underwear, naked or in flip flops with black socks and a trench coat (on the island) I'm not sure why they called her the Russian because she said very strange things with a French accent

No Chance - LARGE American Woman that even though there are very few un-scissored single women on the island, had...

Hugger Couple AKA Hans Hookabine - German Uber friendly couple that would talk to anyone and everyone whether or not you wanted them to and hugged you to death when you left

Mr. Bong - Chinese guy that carried a glass bong with him most everywhere

Crotchety Old Man - German really old guy that walked around with his already tiny Speedo tucked way up his ass marking his territory around his bungalow

In India AKA This is shit - Old German guy that thinks everything can be solved by going to India

Money Bags - Canadian manic guy that said he spent ~$100/day in Cambodia as a budding philanthropist and played cards with the Thais for money even though he didn't know the rules

Rasta Romeo - German Rastaman who liked to steal girl friends and shopping in town


One night as I am sitting around a big table full of German and German speakers. I am 1 of only 2 English speaking people at the table so when Drunk Girl is trying to explain the word gullible to zie Germans, she turns to me to help explain it.

"How would you explain gullible?"

Without missing a beat, I say very matter of factly, "Well, I don't know, it's not in the dictionary."

"Oh, Really?"

One of the Germans says, you must mean a small dictionary and I said, no not in any dictionary. Drunk Girl is nodding her head in agreement as Rasta Romeo and I are laughing our heads off. Then I explain to them that Drunk Girl is a perfect example of what gullible means in believing that a word is not in the dictionary. He says, Oh,ja... dumkopf.

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