Why would you need to wear sunscreen in the disco?

Trip Start Dec 23, 2006
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Trip End Jan 01, 2007


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Flag of Honduras  ,
Wednesday, December 27, 2006

After another mediocre breakfast, off to try and find a canopy tour. There's really nothing near the port - only a few vendor stalls. We ended up splitting a cab with a Toronto couple (Zahir, Tazmin - sp?). Both are electrical engineers. Zahir and Tazmin opted out of the canopy tour - they've been to Costa Rica and have done it before. They went to the iguana farm while waiting for us.

You get some pretty good speed going on the ziplines, and could hang upside down and do a few tricks. Overall, it was pretty fun but I don't think I'd do it again, unless it was in Costa Rica. It sounds like it's much better over there.

Hit the beach after - crappy weather. Cloudy, windy, and actually a little bit chilly. We picked up some cheap beer before going to the beach. Beer and bananas stolen from the breakfast buffet ... our lunch of choice while ashore on the cruise!

Got in a little bit of Spanish practice with Kenny, our taxi driver. Sounds like the people here are very hard-working. Back to the ship. Went to the "Secrets to a Flatter Stomach" seminar at the spa. What a scam and a sham!

The whole point was to scare you into buying their metabolism analysis services. Cruises are all about making a buck off of the passengers. A lot of people at the seminar were eating up the propaganda, like so much crappy buffet food that was available on board. It was like sitting in the audience of an info-mercial. People were sitting there nodding, and saying things like "You're SOOOO right!". I was waiting for Ron Popeil to come out and sell his rotisserie machine! Set it and forget it!

It was pretty hypocritical - the instructors were all talking about how bad people's eating habits were, and how they were slowly killing themselves. Hmmm ... you're on a cruise ship, where the biggest selling feature is complete gluttony, and you're basically scolding people for their unhealthy eating habits?

It reminded me of a conversation I had with Kyle, a bunkmate in London (see Europe 2006 blogs entitled "Parting is Such Chocolatey-Sweet Sorrow" and "Depression is Starting to Set in"). He's a personal trainer that previously worked on a cruise ship. He couldn't stand working on the ship because he basically had to sell his soul to pad the bottom line. Always selling services and products that customers didn't need, often using scare tactics.

Can't say that the instructors were all that bad ... Tam and I paid them $100 to tell the HLS that the secret of a flatter stomach was to wrestle nude in chocolate pudding, with Asian guys while on a Christmas Caribbean cruise. Sadly, they never approached us for our help, though they were told that they would die a horrible death unless they did this! Come on girls, think of your health!!!

Afterwards, took a nap, had the requisite rum and coke, and off to listen to some more classical music. I've been mixing our drinks pretty strong - ½ rum and ½ coke, so we were a little bit tipsy as we listened. It definitely made it more interesting! Once I put on my beer goggles, the already cute violinist was even cuter!

Off to Scarlett's (the on-board NY Steakhouse-style restaurant) for dinner tonight. It cost an extra $30 per person to dine there. Excellent presentation but the food was only decent. The escargot dish was unique and had four variations. The first - wrapped in rice paper; the second - surrounded by potato and then encrusted in panko; the third and fourth - forgotten due to the excessively strong rum and coke we had beforehand.

The bread was excellent - rosemary foccacia, pesto bread, and brioche. It was served with three butters - rosemary, garlic/herb, and truffle. The truffle was the best and as a result, I overloaded on bread. But at least it soaked up some of the rum floating around in my stomach.

A good fresh-made Caesar salad preceded the main course. Served with whole anchovies on the side. The main was a giant 24 ounce porterhouse. I could only finish 2/3 of it. Good, but not enough béarnaise sauce was served with it

Dessert - not your typical cheesecake (see pics). Like a pudding, served in a bowl, along with two slices of toasted sweet bread. I could barely eat a few mouthfuls because I was so stuffed. Guess I won't achieve that flat stomach that the spa instructors talked about. But at least if I get my metabolism analyzed, I won't die a horrible and painful death!

As we got up to leave, they brought us a few chocolate truffles to nibble on. So we nibbled, despite being a couple of overstuffed pigs. Hawaiians actually chased us after we left the restaurant, trying to slow roast us for a luau.

But it was alright - we needed some exercise after stuffing our faces. We missed the start of the show as a result (turns out it was one of the better ones, too) so we couldn't find a seat. Decided to have some more rum and coke instead.

Stalking Update #8: 11:06:22 PM - Encountered the younger of the two HLS in the disco with her parents. Funny - as soon as the parents stepped away to dance, pathetic vultures would circle and swoop in. She shot down at least four or five of them in a matter of minutes. The only thing more pathetic? Two creepy Asian dudes sitting in a corner, drinking their too-strong rum and cokes while wiping the drool off their faces.

I actually had a near-death experience that night - I didn't have any sunscreen on in the disco, and was almost instantly incinerated when I walked too close to the younger of the HLS. These girls are HOOOOOOOOOT! The HLS will hereafter be referred to as the SNG - Super Nova Girls!!!
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