All aboard the pukefest
Trip Start
Nov 01, 2004
1
11
51
Trip End
??? ??, 2006
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Ko Tao, Thailand
Monday, December 13, 2004
Due to the bad weather conditions (which means the sun is still shining but the sea is very rough) the only ferry operating between the islands was the high speed catamaran. "Your gateway to adventure" said the ticket. They weren't wrong there. It set off very early in the morning so we just had time to grab a couple of pieces of chicken for breakfast from a woman at the pier. Thanks be to Buddha we didn't eat anything more.
From the moment the catamaran set sail it was madness. People were puking everywhere. The boat staff did their best to hand out plastic bags as quickly as possible. But sometimes they weren't quick enough.
The boat bounced up and down and lurched from side to side for a puke inducing 90 minutes. I've puked on many a boat in my time but this was awful. I broke out into a horrible cold sweat and my legs couldn't stop shaking. I'd only had a chicken leg for breakfast but managed to fill two plastic bags.
It gets worse. Throughout the entire ordeal a dreadful film called "I, Robot" with Will Smith was playing. At least half of the puking taking place has to be attributed to this awful film. When you've got your head between your legs and you're trying desperately to keep your stomach inside your body the last thing you need to listen to is yet another stupid film in which Will Smith single-handedly saves the world (well, at least America) from evil spaceships/aliens/spy technology/robots/etc.
When we finally reached Ko Tao I collapsed in a heap on the gound. Locals laughed at how sick Brian looked. One poor old woman got off the boat and couldn't stop crying.
But it's not all bad. The experience has proven for once and for all that Brian Malone is incapable of puking. He wanted to puke, he needed to puke but he seems to be missing the reverse function for his stomach. There's money making potential there. I haven't worked out the finer details yet but some sort of traveling Iron Stomach Man show in Australia should keep us from starving.
The next day I even felt queasy walking past the ferry office. So we didn't bother going diving or on a boat trip around the island. The closest I got to diving was buying a strap for my mask in a diving shop. Instead we walked and climbed over most of the island and found some really lovely beaches for snorkeling.
So yet again I go to Ko Tao and don't dive. Is this a record of some sort?
