Day 51: Making life decisions with John Malkovich

Trip Start May 25, 2005
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Trip End Ongoing


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Flag of United States  , California
Friday, October 21, 2011

Today was an important day for me.
It infact may be one to mark down for future thought.
I decided a few things, and perhaps let myself believe a few things that I have known for a while, and perhaps ignored to keep normality functioning for many good reasons.

But today, knowing that I had made preparations to start on a new journey, I felt resolved and happy. Listening to my mp3 player, carrying my left-overs for lunch, I couldn't help but smile. No matter what happened, I had kinda already made a decision about my future.

Expressing those decisions, I found an audience that listened intently, didn't presume or argue, and then supported. It was a relief, and something I really enjoyed and feel grateful for. I'd've probably carried on anyway, but now that I have this basis I feel happier that there is a way to move forward. It's amazing considering the depth of sadness and almost betrayal that had taken place in similar circumstances around 47 days ago.

(AS I WRITE THIS ANOTHER EARTHQUAKE JUST HAPPENED. I HEARD A BANG, AND THEN THE BUILDING BEGAN TO SHAKE......it's an amazing feeling, but this is my first one alone - and it was more scary, although apparently only a 2.8 on the Richter scale!).

Anyway - after that kinda start to the day, I then spent a good hour or so in the bank, trying to get my card to work! Two months in, or there abouts, and I am still on the outside of all this wonderful technology. Luckily, by pouring over constant updates on San Francisco's Craig's List, I managed to find a student willing to sell her ticket for tomorrow's Bridge School Benefit Concert for hard cash. Result! This has been my dream since arriving here....and it looks like it may finally be coming together afterall.

Walking home I found an adult crow, sitting, unresponsive in the middle of the pavement. I stopped and chatted to it for a while, and realised I would have to take it home. It looked dazed and confused - and as I bent down to pick it up, was told by a few people it had been writhing around on its back for the previous 30 minutes.

'Poor Crow', I said to it as I gently carried it home. I gave it some rest and some water and slowly saw the look come back to its eyes - the look of the wild - the look of instinct, and I knew that with time it was going to be OK.

Within hours it was sitting, trying to evade me when I entered the room. And after a slightly undignified disaster with one of my housemates bloody sticky fly traps, it gave me one long last look before making it through the door and into the open skies.

I remember that same look from the Jackal Buzzard I had the privilege to rescue in Hluhluwe. It's the look of a predator; of an intelligent beast. I just hope that somewhere, as I quietly say 'Good luck' and 'I won't hurt you', that there is an element of understanding somehow.

Finally, my day was completed by the company of Mr. John Malkovich, prancing around the stage, doing terrible things to women, all in the name of an 'Infernal Comedy'. Damn, he is good. Really good. His gestures are precise and not at all labored. You know that somehow he has managed to stay on the right side of the line considering the personal groping he was involved with....he was the right person to portray it.

His counter parts, soloists Louise Fribo and Martene Grimson, effectively stole the show. Their responses to his outbursts, their compassion and amazingly controlled renditions of classic opera arias, combined with works by Haydn, Beethoven, Mozart and Gluck gave the piece and unnerving flow which seemed to transcend the subject matter of murder and betrayal. Perhaps we can all understand this on some level.......

The couple to my left though were obviously on an early-history date which may have been on shaky ground, not only due to the really cheap seats (lack of confidence perhaps by the Mr?), but also by him mentioning VERY LOUDLY why women are terrible to take anywhere due to their weak bladders.... all of which he is sure is psychosomatic! All she had done at this point was to say 'No thank you' to a bottle of water he had smuggled in.....

She in fact knew it was a performance without intermission, and her seats would not allow her to exit until the end as they were perched over the edge of the balcony behind the safety rail.... Thus, she sensibly declined in favour of an enjoyable time without bathroom considerations....although if he had smuggled in something a little tastier perhaps that may also have helped (oooh - tough audience Claire!)

Within a few minutes he probably wondered what he had done to his chances of a third date, as Malkovich exposed the true beauty of the female human mind, and ineptitude of men to live without it - although few are smart enough to understand it!!!!

And so.....with that third earthquake in three days, my day is done. It has been remarkable for me....and tomorrow will probably follow suite. Let's hope the earth holds still in the meantime.... i need some sleep!
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