Retrospective
Trip Start
May 11, 2009
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22
Trip End
Jul 21, 2009
New York City, New York
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
After returning to DC I found that I became unusually tired. Sleeping in the bed that I had grown-up in became a bittersweet reality; my body felt both the familiarity and awkwardness of it. With my childhood comforter wrapped snugly around me I drifted to sleep with my ankles dangling from the bed.
In the days that followed I tried to return to my old life. I met up with some friends from high school, but they seems to me altogether different. I couldn't shake a feeling of detachment from them, as if the intervening years had slowly melded into an unspoken and impenetrable barrier. I found myself honing in on their fears and anxieties; and disgusted with myself I let my mind drift to more quiet and peaceful places.
Downtown on K street, I had lunch with a girl who I'm not ashamed to admit once infatuated me. But seeing her now, a decade on, I saw only a woman who had lived a hard and unexpected life. The meeting left a deep impression on me and while riding the DC metro I began to stare towards the window: half at the passing houselights in the distance and half at my own reflection.
It's a strange thing when you see yourself in a dark window; you have to get up right next to it, and see THROUGH yourself, before catching a glimpse of what's beyond. In a sense, I think that this is what my round-the-world trip has allowed me to do: to see past the images and to expose the things that truly make me hopeful or inevitably make me sad.
With my new Toyota Corolla, I returned to New Jersey and reclaimed my few but sentimental worldly possessions. I ran the New York City Triathlon in a time of 3:04:53 and was met at the finish line by well-wishers and true friends. I believe that I will try to maintain these ties, as I know that these individuals made it out on an early Sunday only because they knew that it was important to me. I have already wasted too much of my life trying to cultivate one-way friendships, and I take it as a healthy sign of getting older that I don't really care to try anymore. If you want to know me then know me, effort is all that is required.
I have realized that I haven't counted my blessings as much as I should, and that I have the tendency to take life too seriously even when seriousness becomes unbearable.
I want to thank: Katie in Konstanz, who hosted me in her apartment and reminded me of the things I cherish the most from my childhood; the brothers Matt and Chris in Munich, for their companionship while bar-hopping in the crowded streets of Munich; Andy, Juan and even Allesandra for helping me navigate the living/breathing labyrinth of Venice; Kath and Aloise for being great guides throughout my entire journey through Africa; Katie for reasons that will forever remain between us; Seb for great games of Bao in the random corners of Eastern Africa; Mr. Blood Diamond for the boxing lessons; Sebastian and Clemence, for their donated food in Johannesburg (and for delivering a telegram in an age when such things are rare); My Grandfather, who is perhaps the strongest and wisest person I know; Katherine and Luke for proving that white faces in yellow places are really not so bad (and that you can't find a good ice-cream store when you need one); Sam, Max, Inya, Terry and Colin for comic relief in the sweltering heat of Thailand.
John Steinbeck once wrote that true desires climb through the dreams of all restless travelers; and I want to leave this post with that message. As I tie up the blog and bring a cap to Allen's Amazing Race, I want to thank you for reading, and for sharing these experience with me. Be safe, travel well and live... just live.
There is no such thing as an uninteresting life.
