Do I technically have typhoid fever?
Trip Start Jun 12, 2005
7Trip End Jul 28, 2005
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Tonight there is apparently a law review meeting at school. I had no chance of being on it, which makes me a bit sad. Last year at this time, I had so many high hopes, and it seemed like law review would be a peace of cake. And here I am, hanging on by my finger nails...just grateful to be alive. What does it feel like to be so smart that it's in your grasp? I don't even really want to be on it, but it sure would be cool to be asked. I know I'm smart...so why do I not seem to reflect that in the choices I make? Why can't I just flow through smoothly like everyone else seems too? Just for a second here, I wish we just had a path, and that it was all set, and that we didn't have to choose...that we could just take a smooth sail through life.
A close friend of mine is pretty upset with me and another friend. We were all supposed to meet up the other night, and because as things do, everything took longer then we thought and we never got the chance. Now here is how I feel, and i realize i am taking the risk of putting this out there. First, things happen, and we had individual plans with hopes to make it work out. Unfortunately it didn't, but we are friends and I guess I figure it will work out later. But why are one group of friends not worth leaving 'cause that might be rude, but another group is ok to leave? I hate fighting, and I hate hate hate when people are upset with me. But at the same time, I can't help but think-is it really that big of a deal? Maybe my attitude comes from another close friend of mine who is currently a converted African princess. We make plans to meet up all the time, but it actually happening...we have about a 30% rate. I guess I sort of like that. I am a planner by nature, so when I am going out, I like to be more spontaneous. I like to bar hop, i like to see where the night goes. Unfortunately, due to some babies who changed their plans at the last minute, our plans got changed and my faithful traveling companion, her namesake, some close relations and a few friends and I all got shoved out the door before we could finish a drink and so we had to fend for ourselves. Of course that led us to a bar, and as you know, you get talking and stuff and the next thing you know, its late. Add a few dropped cell phone calls, some missed texts and we just don't meet up.
Now, like i said, i feel really awful about it, I miss my close friend, and i haven't seen her in ages. I know she wanted some support-but at the same time, i am supremely confident that she held her own, and that is apparent by the fact that she stuck with this crowd well into the am hours and because she is the type of girl who not only will hold her own, but will excel at it.
I guess, this is part defense, part apology and part can we move on and not be mad about trivial things? Its not a matter of trust, its a matter of going out which is so so different. So, my dear Nazzer, forgive us, please. Call us, let's have a girls night-karoke anyone? But please don;t hold it against my friend from the north-if you are going to be mad, be mad at me, cause its probably definite that she would have dumped even her brother to have not made you mad, but I told her we would work it out. We do love you....