Wetness

Trip Start Jun 26, 2006
1
36
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Trip End Feb 28, 2007


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Flag of Canada  , Ontario,
Saturday, September 2, 2006

Well today was to one of those days when you were doing stuff cos you felt you had too, not cos you necessarily wanted to. Now every dumbarse in the world has heard of Niagara Falls......and most assume its a waterfall..... Wrong!!!! Its a pissing lake and a theme park more trashy than Hollywood and more screwed up than Bogner.

Lets start at the beginning.....

We started early at Mc-e-dees with a coffee, no sugar for me and a sugar and cream one for ames. Yucky I know but thats her....... With our coffee we I had a sausage mcmuffin....a muffin with squirty american cheese and squirty sausage stuff and not forgetting the mc-e-dees speciality of squirty god-knows-wot sauce.

Now after a dull boring journey around Lake Ontario we finally arrived.....yes at niagara but not at the glorious falls you all know of but at some way backward town somewhere on the USA-Canada border. The streets were quiet, the shops all boarded up and the hotels long since abandoned.

Now most people would have jumped on the shuttle to the falls but im a skinflint and wouldnt pay the seven bucks for it so we set off in the right random direction as usual. It was a long long walk alongside the niagara river. Now the niagara is quite a wide river with huge amounts of yucky brown scum floating in it, rather like when you boil a ham prior to roasting.

After sometime we emerged out of the ghost town of niagara in to the circus they call the falls....can someone tell me wot frank-of-stein has to do with waterfalls, or superman or the turtles or any of the rest of that shit..... Trust me niagara is the worlds most tacky theme park city...or as most people of my rather less polite generation would put it... a shithole!!

Now after our long walk it was time for a sit down...... Amy had left the zimmer-frame at home so needed a rest!!!!! So a quick stop in Tim Hortons for another coffee (and no doughnuts this time......the stories of lardy boy will come in a few enteries time)

So after our initial disappointment we went for a closer look at the falls. They really are quite incredible and do grow on you the longer your there. I guess the circus drifts into the background. The americans do things so much better i'm sure.

Now it was lunchtime yummy soup and sarnie from more retarded Tim Horton staff...... after which it was excess time, time to really hear the thunder and fell the power of the falls. We got a maid of the mist trip, so it was time to don our sexy blue ponchos and pile on a dinky tin boat and be driven right into the heart of the falls. Like having an elephant piss on you only much more amazing.

And that was that!!!!!!!!!
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Comments

triciap
triciap on

What's all this about Blackpool!
Photos are fantastic almost professional looking. But not sure I like all these snidy insinuations about Blackpool. What you trying ta say? Still you must miss it as you keep bringing it up! You're getting as bad as your big brother - know what I mean

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