Holy crap i did it, i got married!!!!

Trip Start Dec 28, 2004
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Flag of Thailand  , Phangnga,
Saturday, April 14, 2012

the last few days have been quite the whirlwind.  who knew that weddings could be so complicated and involved. you know i think that there would be a market out there for a person to just take care of all the arrangements and leg work and just let the engaged couple relax and bit. i cant believe no one has thought of this yet, it would be a sure win for who ever wanted to coordinate all of the different aspects of the ceremony and party. you could probably get away with calling it a "wedding coordinator" i know i know, sounds silly but man something like that sure would have been helpful.

i don't even know where to start with this post.  things have been eventful.  My brother and his wife Lori flew all the way in from Chicago for the big day so a shout out to them for the effort.  they were supposed to arrive in Bangkok at midnight and to there hotel around 1am.  i figured i would let them sleep in until 10am before i gave them a call.  when i called the hotel at 10am though, they still hadn't checked in.  i called back at 12 and still no luck. 12 hours late is not good so i start checking the Internet for plane crashes or taxi accidents. i know it sounds morbid but 12 hours is a long time to be missing.....especially in Bangkok.

well I finally got a call from them a few hours later and it turns out that their flight from Chicago had taken the polar route, up and over the north pole.  during their descent into Russian airspace there was a medical emergency and they had to divert all the way back to anchorage Alaska.  all told they were delayed about 13 hours which is not cool but happy they are alive and well.

I had arranged a friend of mine (well mostly IM's friend) to pick them up at the airport since she uses her car as a taxi. I decided to go along for the ride since I have to go to phuket anyway to pick up my suit for the big day.  After having picked them up we began the two hour ride back to khao lak and my friend started to act a bit weird....a little rude which is unusual. i played it off as no big deal but for a Thai person to be as rude as she was being was just about unheard of.  i found out later through IM that she had taken the conversations between me and my brother and his wife about all the of crazy things they had seen in Bangkok as an insult.  the problem is that she speaks pretty good English but doesn't have all of the nuances down which is a common problem so she somehow thought that we were being incredibly rude towards her country......a little common sense thinking would have helped here though.  if i don't like Thailand or Thai people why am i living here and marrying one?  sigh

IM's family had come a few days before and had set up base camp in my house.  it wasn't all that bad considering it was only her mom, sister and daughter but again , my house is not the biggest so things can be pretty cramped.  add to that the fact that i am auto out voted for TV rights and things can get downright boring around here lol. thank god weddings don't come around that often.

Like i said before, a wedding planner would have been nice but we were stuck with me which wasn't a disaster surprisingly.  the biggest sticking point was that IM did not "book" her hair and make up until midnight, the night before the wedding.  Of course i recommended that she start in on the hair and make up around 8-8:30am since the wedding was a noon.  IM being IM booked it for 10am which gave her almost no time at all before it was time to walk down the isle.

well the big day arrives and I am up and in the shower and things are just hopping along until i look at my watch and realize that its 9:45 and IM hasn't even gotten into the shower yet. i shove her into the shower and then pull her out about 5 minutes later with her cursing me but once again, if things had been booked for 8am and not 10am we wouldn't be in such a rush.  IM gets dressed and drives me over to the location with suit over my shoulder. it is now 10:20....20 minutes late and she's still got about a 10 minute drive. I hop off the motorbike and she asks me for 500 baht.  "for what?"  "i need to buy shoes for my dress"  I go a bit haywire telling her that she doesn't have time to go shoe shopping because she is already late for her hair and makeup and we are getting married in about 1 1/2 hours, not to mention that she has known about this whole marriage thing for about a year now and i feel that may be ample time to buy a pair of frigging shoes.  of course we get into a pretty heated argument which ends with her driving away on the motorbike, giving me the finger and yelling "i go home, i not marry you".  ummmm OK. am i going to be stood up at the altar? In a way that would be a classic close to a chapter in Neal's life. my life seems to be made up of a series of cliche moments stitched together through time. being stood up at the altar by a small little Thai girl seemed fitting to me.

So now i am hanging out at the wedding location with the the manager and my friend/wedding photographer who flew in from LA for the big day.  I am doing my best to keep calm but #1 I am getting married in an hour or two so that is enough to fray any ones nerves but even more pressing is #2.....AM i getting married or aren't I?  I really wasn't sure at this point and i was a wreck with all of the doubts that were circling in my head.

it soon came time for me to go upstairs to the staging room and get dressed into my new and fancy suit but i still had no idea whether i was actually getting married or not.  IM and I get into some pretty explosive arguments here and there and we always work it out but it can take some time and time was what we didn't have.  whether or not this registered with IM would be the deciding point in the whole manner.  

its now 12pm which is the time given for the wedding.  at 12pm there was me and my photographer friend and NO ONE ELSE.  My friend Mo who was officiating the ceremony wasn't even here yet but this is Thailand where there is something called "Thai time".  meaning nothing actually happens at the time that is given.  by 12:30 i had about 30 guests waiting for the ceremony to begin and yes Mo had shown up.  Now all i needed was a bride.  the stress levels were almost enough to knock me over but all was well when i finally saw a car pull up and my bride and her family get out............big sigh of relief.

We took a bunch of photos in a blizzard of flashes and then it was time for the ceremony itself.  I've been told it was very nice but i don't remember much of it to be honest. it was sort of like an out of body experience where you are watching this happen to someone else.  the weather was beautiful with not a whiff of rain as i walked down the isle in a slow strut.  I got up to the altar (lack of a better word) where my brother was waiting for me with the rings.  then IM began her walk down the isle with OOM her daughter.  Of course she looked absolutely amazing as she came towards me and i was overjoyed to the point that i did not even feel the heat and sun beating down on me and trying to light me into flames in my suit.

We joined together and Mo began the ceremony by reading a poem he had written.  i tried my best to follow along with the poem but i was just in this unreal state of mind as i looked at iIM and felt the gaze of all of the guests resting on my back.  IM was so beautiful as she looked over at me and winked.  Our vows came next and I suppose we should have gone over this with Mo a little bit but one of the lines that we were to repeat was that the ring "symbolizes" ......... well friends and neighbors, there is no way that IM was able to say the word symbolize. there are about 3 different sounds in that word that her tongue is unable to produce.  the moment i heard Mo say is I thought to myself "oh here we go".   It all turned out well after that and the rings were exchanged and we were thus married.  

We walked back down the isle and then stopped for photos and photos and photos.  we mingled a bit and then a nice surprise occured when my boat....Manta Queen II showed up off shore blasting its horn and all of the staff whooping and whistling.  they were coming back from the 4 day trip i had taken off and had made it just in time to do a pass and review.  the boat got so close i found out later the water was only 5 meters deep.  thank god the captain didn't ground the ship since the owner and manager were both in attendance at the ceremony.   

We now had a 5 hour break between ceremony and party and while everyone else rested or went back to work, i had to run and get our cake that was waiting about 20 miles away.  you ever carry a wedding cake for about 30 minutes.  arm fatigue my friend. arm fatigue.

the party was pretty laid back with lots of beer and free margaritas for Neal which is nice.  my brother pounded back something like 10 beers which is quite a bit while i stayed with my margarita theme.  food was good......company was good.....not much to say about wedding receptions really other then i really enjoyed the whole thing and was thankful that Kevin and Lori, Noah and Rita and my friend mickey were able to make it out from America for the big day.  thanks guys so much, it really meant a lot for me to have you guys there.

I'm married now and i have settle down and become much more relaxed and contemplative in the last few days.........naw just kidding lol.  all of my out of town guests left this morning and IM's family left last night so now everything has gone back to its normal state. there is no more worrying about flowers or food or dresses. its over and done and it was absolutely beautiful, just like my bride
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Comments

starlagurl
starlagurl on

Holy crap congratulations!

Lynne & Graham on

Congratulations, glad you had an awesome day you both look excellent, fab photos. Love to you both xx

Chris George on

Congrats Neal, looks like it was a beautiful wedding, and the two of you look great together. She is much too pretty for you, so be good!

Aunt Katie on

What a great account Neal. Brought a tear to my eye and a chuckle to my belly. Mazel Tov once again.

Mario on

Congrats my dear friend!

Kate on

Looks amazballs, congat's and best of luck to the new family xxx

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