Even in the jungle life finds you
Trip Start Dec 28, 2004
270Trip End Ongoing
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it seems that nothing in my family was very normal and my relationship with my mother was no exception. I had not seen her over the last 15 years and had just recently started speaking to her on the phone after a 12 year silence. it wasnt that we were particuraly angry with each other and stopped speaking, it was more just that she had a very negative view of the world and i chose to remove myself from that sort of thinking and influence. all that being said, i am so glad that i was able to speak to her and make ammends over the last few months and that we were both able to forgive each other for the years of careless silence.
My sister was able to make the flight to arizona in time to be by her side and when i called from java last night she put the phone up to my mothers ear so i could tell her i love her and to say goodbye. its a hell of a thing to have to do that sort of thing over the phone and although i am so grateful for the oppurtunity to say goodbye, it really hurts that i wasnt able to be there.
im still pretty much absorbing this whole thing and im kind of in shock at the moment.....i wasnt particuraly close to her but she was my mother and despite there being many bad times, there were many good also. my mother has died and im a bit lost at the moment