Chang noi VS. chang noi.....one night only

Trip Start Dec 28, 2004
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Flag of Thailand  ,
Sunday, February 17, 2008

As I have said before, if given the proper amount of forewarning I would have been more than happy to buy some cheap ass plane tickets to phuket but since ninny is not known for her decisiveness we were forced to bus it.  I'm used to the overnight buses truth be told.  I can somehow just turn off my higher brain functions and I become in essence a big chunk of meat sitting in a seat listening to my iPod.  I don't think and I don't contemplate, I just veg out.  Ninny on the other hand will sit and think and think and think as she is prone to do and this is what causes most of our problems. The girl just thinks too damn much about nothing in particular and she keeps thinking and then hones in on something negative and then she keeps turning that over and over until she works herself into a low intensity tizzy fit.  On a 14 hour bus trip there is a lot of thinking time so that doesn't bode well for me.
 
The bus was the normal bit out of Bangkok other than being 2 hours late in picking us up.  It probably would have been only an hour late but the king decided to go for a drive near where we were being picked up so the traffic went from bad to holy shit just shoot me.  The king's procession is a bit like the presidents when he drives around.  All the roads are closed briefly and there is a small army of police and ambulances and various official vehicles.  The only real difference is that the king of Thailand has a bit of style and cruises in a yellow Rolls Royce where the American president is stuck with a Cadillac that is built like a frigging German tank.
 
So after sitting and waiting for our bus for 2 hours, ninny is not in the best of moods.  I usually spend these bus trips treading very lightly and kissing a bit of ass truth be told but I think that's just part of a relationship.  You have to know the things that bother and annoy your counterpart and do your best to alleviate it when it can't be totally avoided.  All that being said, ninny was being quite the bitch for the 8 hour ride to suratthani where we were to wait around for an hour before catching a mini bus the rest of the way to phuket.  Said hour did little to improve the mood of the ninster and she moved from bitch to complete pouting pain in the ass as we're delayed yet another hour, waiting for our mini bus to depart.  Thankfully we were able to board our piece of shit bus soon enough and a full melt down was avoided.  Ninny promptly went to sleep and I sat and contemplated how best to diffuse her.
 
I won't bore you too much with the ride over to phuket but let me just say that when we arrived I was a bit overwhelmed by the sheer size of the place.  Marriott wasn't fucking around when they built this bad boy.  Of course it was far removed from the rest of phuket....about 40 kilometers from what is considered the epicenter of shopping and nightlife, patong beach.  That being said, the place kicked ass.  The parents had already arrived via aircraft but ninny and I still kind of had to do a half assed check in before we boarded a golf cart that would take us to our villa.  The place was so immense that unless you were up for a good walk, the best way to get around was via chauffeured golf cart.  We arrived at the villa and I now knew I was way out of my league.  It was a two bedroom/2 bath affair with a living room and kitchen.  I was a bit jealous of the parent's bathroom since they had a giant whirlpool tub but I figured me and ninny could sneak in later and what they didn't know couldn't hurt.
The 4 days spent in the lap of luxury were fairly uneventful to be honest.  Ninny came down with a terrible fever so she wasn't much fun truth be told but I was definitely understanding since I could feel her radiating heat as I lay next to her at night.  Even despite her sickness we managed to desecrate 2 out of the 3 pools there at the hotel so it wasn't like we didn't have any fun at all.  I think the highlight was that at about 4pm everyday a "mahout" (elephant trainer) would bring his baby elephant onto the grounds and take it swimming in the ocean where you could play with it.  Being a big guy and a little stupid I was more then happy to rough house with the little guy (he stood about shoulder high) and we would get into a little shoving match here and there.  It got to the point though that I would back away and try and let other people have some time to get close to him and he would come looking for me.  The problem was that all the other people would put out a tentative hand and touch him for a second and then pull back.  Me on the other hand was more then happy to push his big ass over into the surf and then jump on top of him.  It was fun to watch him look at the people one by one....and when his eyes met mine you could see the kind of recognition right before he would lumber toward me and drive his huge head into my chest.  I think I wont 2 out of 3 matches with him but the 3rd one he kept kicking me in the jimmy with his huge tree trunk legs.  He was my friend, I miss him.
 
Ninny had skipped out on work by writing a letter and promising to be back in  a few days.  Well now it was a week and a half later and her job was pissed off to no end.  So at this point we bid farewell to ninny and I packed her onto another bus to get her back to ko tao and work.   The girl definitely drives me crazy and I never know what the hell is going to happen next with her but what I do know is that when she leaves, I miss her.  So ninny headed to the other side of Thailand while me and the parents prepared to board a ferry to the island of phi phi.  Hopefully dads sea sickness would stay under control because if there is one thing I cant handle, it's the smell of vomit.
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