Its time - kwop kilawtley (stay with me forever)
Trip Start
Dec 21, 2009
1
9
77
Trip End
Ongoing
Villafranca d'Asti, Piedmont, Italy
Sunday, February 14, 2010
"You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction"
I made a mistake, my heard hurt.... I had presumed such growth and direction when in actual fact it was only really the beginning of change and i was still holding myself back (despite my previous blog of mocking those that are doing the same thing). Change is hard, or else it would not be worth doing and it can take only one word or action that makes the change suddenly seem possible. I was looking at my life in terms of its possibilities which felt endless, however at the same time I was still looking in the rear-view mirror. Now the possibilities really are endless and the mirror no long exists! After spending most of the day frustrated with myself, and having nowhere to blow off my steam as a result of being snowed in to the front gate, I reminded myself that it is all about perspective and I went outside. I looked to the skies (it's night now) to calm myself; the tears begin to fall and I realize they are actually not tears of sadness but happiness. It’s time...similar to the strength i found within myself at the top of Kala Pattar I once again felt myself accepting my current direction and letting go. My road map as i have previously suggested is exciting and there are some people I hope to stay with me forever, but unfortunately this can’t always happen. So it’s time... for what I don’t know yet, I’m still working on it but I’ll keep you posted.
So back to moment of staring at the sky i start to realize that I am healthy and happy. I am in a place where I feel wanted, needed and completely safe. The Italian family always honour me with their hospitality and despite the hours I work whilst I am here (which by the way I actually love!) it always feels like a taking experience. They are patient warm and forgiving. When I was at home I used to take the garbage out (rarely given) just so I could look to the sky. In Melbourne, despite its beauty, it always seemed cloudy and I have no doubt that upon my return it still will feel the same. Here it feels open and welcoming and spouts such splendour deep within me that it reassures that my desire to continually return here is correct and i need to embrace that. Trust in my own judgement and go with it! Gudio constantly tells me that i am thinking too much, so maybe i should stop...
So despite all of that i then went and worked for 3 days straight (11hrs each day) in a kitchen where I was learning everything (again) in English and then Italian and this time instead of having an out (someone speaking English nearby), my Italian family decided that they would only speak in Italian to me. YA!!! So here is a recipe (in Italian), here is the food Vai!(GO!) This only lasted so long as i just couldn’t keep up with what they were saying however, what a brilliant experience, i was cooking and loving it and making things that if i might say so myself; tasted and smelt great! I felt like jam between two slices of white bread, happy to be there and loving every second. It’s all about perspective and your actions, if you are doing something positive (mentally & physically), than you will feel positive.
I have not only changed my destinations over night but will now endeavour to change my direction (frame of mind) also. Life is too short, hence the trip, so if you want something bad enough go and get it, don’t look back as it is only your past (respect it of course as it helped define who you are), however look to the now and enjoy it! I certainly am! As Guido says “Stop thinking so much!”
