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Where I stayed
my mom's house

Flag of United States  , California
Thursday, July 29, 2010

As I longed for the monster I had to stay focused on what was really important, my son. My mom was not going to be home today so I had to watch Hunter.  I pondered on whether or not I should go take another hit.  It won't hurt anything and I will still be able to watch my son.  Or maybe I should just start to come down so that way later when mom gets home I can crash and sleep all night.   I think that is what I will do.  I set up a blanket on the floor for Hunter to play on.  I laid next to him and closed my eyes.  I will just lay here and rest for a little bit but not fall asleep. The next thing I know mom is home.  I must have fallen asleep and didn't hear a word.  The only reason I woke up is because mom came in yelling at me.  Hunter had rolled over and gotten stuck underneath the reclining chair.  He didn’t get seriously hurt, just a few bumps and bruises on his head.  How could I let that happen?  How could I have fallen asleep?  Mom picks up Hunter and is furious.  She is still yelling at me.  She says that I am not fit to raise my baby, or even to watch him for a couple hours.  Maybe she is right, am I really fit to be a parent?  I love Hunter with all of my heart and I didn’t mean to fall asleep. 
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