Living in now, now living
Trip Start
Sep 01, 2006
1
25
26
Trip End
Dec 18, 2006
Rovaniemi, Finland
Sunday, November 19, 2006
i slipped on my runners as my hiking boots looked like a lacing mission. the thought of actually going for a run didn't even register, mostly because it was so late, and i haven't been able to run the past few weeks, first due to the cold, and in the past few days because freezing rain and hovering zero temperatures have made the sidewalks and roads treacherous.
the fresh cool moist air filled my lungs like music as i approached the river. why do they always warn us that bridges become icy before roads, but fail to mention that sometimes, they also de-slippify themselves first too? as soon as i stepped onto the bridge i realized that the path here was slushy but not icy - with a burst of pent up energy, i ran across. it felt so good, just simple happiness.
on the other side of the river, the town was still and at peace. i passed the beach that had been alight with crowds and fire sculpting just a week before, but now just trees breathed in the night air with me. rounding the bend, the old railway bridge came into view, a bridge that looks so incredibly similar to the high level bridge in edmonton. behind it glowing in the dark sky was the church tower. i was overcome by a feeling of present embodied actuality, as though i really was a living human map pin on this almost incomprehensibly real globe of a world spinning. as much as this bridge may look like the high level, you are in northern finland, not edmonton, the church reminded me. europe, even if rovaniemi is missing the telltale old buildings and cobblestone streets, being a town resurrected from the ashes of the second world war. as my feet hit the dry wood i ran for the second time, and felt such happiness to be exactly where i was doing exactly what i was doing...
i have been feeling this more and more recently, this indescribable joy at being here now. here is not a location, physical or temporal. it is everything, a state, an existence... like the other night when i danced alone in my room to my favourite breaks song, i swear just as hard as any night at shambhala, feeling much of the same joy even in utterly different circumstances... i cannot really explain it any better than it is the feeling of truly being in the present moment. so many of us talk about this, ascribe to it, and listen to others describe it, that all the words to try to speak of it have become horribly overused cliches. because there are no words, it cannot be described, only experienced, lived. and yet we are compelled to continue to attempt words, trying to share with others a feeling beyond words.
so my advice this night is to continually forget (because, you will anyway) that everything happens for a reason. that way, you will always cry in delight at the ever-new joy of realising, it does.
and wear runners, just in case.
