Spring!

Trip Start Jan 18, 2006
1
4
7
Trip End May 10, 2006


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Flag of Finland  ,
Monday, March 20, 2006

some thoughts on this day that we stand balanced, equal light and dark, moving into the light, summer, spring fever in the air, finally water dripping off of rooftops and the sidewalks becoming skating rinks, sun warm on my back as i walk to school...

we dance nimbly through this life, our toes springing off of a million different moments, making the links, joining the spaces.

even when we feel like we are stumbling, or stuck, or banging into walls

it is all part of the dance, it does not take away from what we are building, the web of our life.

i am realizing that when you find what you are meant to do, when you following the path that is under your feet, everything makes more sense and nothing is separate. my personal life, my strange array of seemingly random past jobs, i see how it is all part of what i am studying for my master's thesis, and my master's thesis is linked to all of these things. i am writing about virtual community on the internet, about feminist perspectives on wilderness, i am reading books that i have in the past wanted to read for fun and interest and now it is basically my job to read them, to contribute to something i care so much about, something positive. there are times i can't believe that i am actually doing this right, that this could actually turn into a job, doing something like this, because it is too real, it is too interesting, it feels too right. those are happy moments. some would think this is not how academia should work, that i will be biased in what i am studying. but we all are. in my opinion, conscious subjectivity is far better than blind objectivity.

and afterall, paradox is the closest thing to truth, n'est pas?

i am currently on the literature review phase of my research, theories overflow in my brain, post modernism, cultural hegemony theory, feminist standpoint theory... i have developed a theory on theories. learning theory is no more than learning the names of ideas you already knew. not that there aren't a lot of theories that challenge me. but the ones that ring true on some level, those are the ones i trust.

things are bright, things are growing. welcome spring!
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