Portland Part Deux!

Trip Start Oct 04, 2004
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Trip End Ongoing


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Flag of United States  , Oregon
Saturday, October 9, 2004

What Portland lacks in sky scrapers and cityscape, it makes up in scenery. Just a short out of Portland you come to vast mountains, lakes, waterfalls and forests. Portland is a very outdoor's type of city, with everyone making use of the hundred's of miles of hiking and biking trails in its outskirts.

To come to Portland and not see any of this would have been a shame, so at about 11am we jumped into the legendary bootbus (just a campervan really but it has its own website! - www.bootbus.com) and hit the road. To be honest the walking will do us good - we had all woken with awful hangovers and our diet the past week has been less than desirable!

Our destination was a waterfall called Multnomah Falls. It was about a 15 mile drive out of Portland and true to form it was raining again! Driving round steep tight corners in the bus was interesting, but i'm sure Chris had it in control the whole time?!

When we got there we understood why he brought us here. Ive seen waterfalls before, but not as big as this one! ONe of us came up with the stupid idea of climbing to the top, i blame Chris but Dan might have come up with the idea! To be fair the sign did say that it was an easy 1 mile climb to the top so it couldn't be that bad? Well either the people of Portland are extraordinarily fit, or we are really unfit as we were past by a couple of old dears power walking to the top and kids as young as 3. I did notice that none of the kids were moaning, they were actually enjoying the walk. How many kids in England would be happy to go for a walk on a Saturday morning?!

We did eventually make it, swearing that next time we will do it with a pedometer to prove it was over a mile! The views were amazing though and worth the walk although i was sweating more than a scouser at a Lacoste superstore! We stumbled back down collapsing in the bus with the realization that we were all completely knackered after a 2 mile walk... i must join a gym!

Later we received a call from Sean telling us that he was flying back earlier than expected and to get ready as we were all going out when he got back! No time for Dinner, thats what Macdonalds is for! We were heading to a house party of friends Sean knew. Visions of college party's with beer kegs in the garden and swimming pools filled our heads but sadly it was more of a 'grown-ups' party, with talk and chill-out music, instead of wild women and loud music! After doing the token English thing again, we made the joint decision of leaving and move onto the bars of Portland again.

Sean in his infident wisdom thought we needed a gimmick for the ladies, so from then on we were Matt and Dan, 2 Eastenders actors in America to try and crack Hollywood. You would be surprised how many gullible ladies fell for this line, its just a shame that Sean's taste of women and mine aren't the same, as a couple of times i had to use the toilet excuse and run away! Oh to be famous!

As much as we loved making fools of the girls in this bar we decided to move on, visiting as many bars as we could in the evening. Eventually we found a lovely establishment called Mary's. Neither Chris or Sean had been there before but for $2 entry and $2 a pint we wasn't going to complain.

It wasn't until we paid and had walked in that we noticed a girl dancing on a stage slowly removing her clothes. I didn't particularly think it was that hot inside, so you can imagine how shocked and disgusted i was when all of her clothes fell off. I mean its 'so' degrading to women! Well the thoughts of leaving did cross my mind, but we had just paid to get in , so it would have been rude not to have at least one pint. We made a pass for the pool table in the corner and didn't look up for the rest of the night! We should have guessed though the 'establishment' was on a road called vaseline alley!

We were later to meet the lovely Gina an 'actress' from LA who was in the area, finally someone who got turned on by accent! After agreeing when she asked if i wanted her mobile and email, she got out a pen and wrote it on my chest. It wasn't until the next morning i realised that it was permanent marker and would take a week to wash off... thankyou very much!

That was too much excitement for us. It was back to Macdonalds and home!

Although we didn't see much of the city apart from at night, i can see why Sean raved about it in his emails. It is industrial, but it does have the mountains and Lakes to make up for that. I would definitely be going back one day!

Funny things we saw in Portland:
1. Signs on buses saying dont forget your umbrella's - it must rain a lot there!
2. 2 boys no older than 18 on a bus that were so obese that they had to satnd as they couldnt fit on the seats - yeah i know not really that funny but we still had a chuckle!
3. Of course our cocney speaking gangsters!

Thought of the day:
Is there another word for Theasorous?

Joke of the day:
There was a world famous painter who, in the prime of her career, started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world. After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored.
The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office. Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art at the doctor's office.

During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, 'What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly decorated office, especially that one large eye on the wall?'

To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself 'Thank the Lord, I'm not a gynecologist.'"
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