Bolivia!
Trip Start
Feb 20, 2006
1
10
Trip End
May 13, 2006
La Paz, Bolivia
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Well you haven't. These people not only don't have the proverbial pot and window... they haven't even got hands to throw with... well, OK... they have hands but you get our drift.
After the hell bus trip (oh, there are so many of them... so so many... and another tonight... please be gentle, it's like asking some dominatrix to go easy.), Bolivia unveiled it's true passion to us. Striking. Country-wide striking. Buses. No buses. Question: Erm, for how many days? Answer: Until the government pays some money. Well, at least the answer is refreshingly truthful. In the UK the tubes strike under the pretence of passenger safety. It took 3 days of sitting around Santa Cruz in a nice hostel with 2 toucans (fourcans... hahahahaaa, that was Asty's brother's one), before we hopped on a bus to Cochabamba (Avoid. The name though sounds like a bad steel drum band from Stoke Newington.) and then a flight (please don't crash... dontcrash, dontcrash, doooooontcrash) to La Paz.
La Paz is one of those cities you cant (no more apostrophes... you have to push 9 different keys on this #$#$"# keyboard to get one... so youll just have to get used to some bad grammar) help staring at. They started building in a bowl, ran out of space and then just built up. There is no order. None. Its like a firefight in Mogadishu. Taxis, and I dont say this lightly, actually drive more with the hooter than the steering wheel. Its amazing. Scientifically impossible, yet... possible. If there were enough circuses in the world, these cabbies could all be star attractions. "And noooooow, the Amazing Hooter Driven Car!!!" OK, going on about this a little too long Ross.
Did I mention its also 3800m high? So you wake up in the middle of the night many times gasping for breath. Not because there isnt enough air, but because the excess CO2 in your lungs causes them to think that they have enough and to stop working. Nice. Lets go there.
Actually, it is an amazing city and weve found some brilliant little restaurants and had the local snack called a saltena, which is a small cornish pasty like thing, but just so overwhelmingly better than you almost hate the Cornish. And did they actually invent the cornish pasty. I though the Welsh did. I digress.
Mostly though La Paz is a launch pad to some of the highest mountains in the world. We first did a days downhill mountain biking on the Worlds Most Dangerous Road. Mustve been named by some Fox News exec. "Theeeeee WORLDS MOST DANGEROUS ROAD... oooo, like the sound of that one! Hey, Dick... get George some more pretzels." The reason it has that name, is that the road is on the side of a mountain. The road has no barriers. The road is dirt and muddy. The drop off the side is 300m. Buses often go off that road. Killing their occupants. With the mbiking they graciously take you to the top - 5200m - and then you punish down to 900m. Thats 4300m descent in 5 hours. Steep? Yas much! Go... chicken... dodge... geese... dodge... dont fall over edge... turn... avoid giant boulder... why is there a boulder in the road... no time for answer... more chickens... dodge... Is that a dog or a bear.... aaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!! Anyway, you get the picture.
So for the last 3 days, as if trying to reach terminal velocity on a mountain bike wasnt idiocy enough, we decided to try and climb Hyana Potosi, a 6088m peak just east of La Paz. It truly was the hardest thing that we have ever done. Like a man who has almost been creamed by a bus... I dont really want to talk about it just yet due to the shock. We now have had a glimpse at the true accomplishment what Hillary did when he conquered Everest. Go now. Make a shrine to the mad pom. Bow down to it. For he is the greatest. Ranulph will always be second best. OK, shock deteriorating enough for sparse description. Get up at 12am (yes... AM). Get ice-pick and crampons. Walk. Climb. Scramble. Curse. Pray. And 7 hours later after negotiating the final 200m of face at 25 degrees, thank every deity in the book. Every single one... even that weird guy down in Rome. Truly a life experience. Next... concentration camp.
Anyhoo, were off to the salt pans for 3 days and then Bolivia will be complete. Drop you some twilight zone pics and story soon!
