Surreal tour of Singapore

Trip Start Aug 04, 2011
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Trip End Jan 04, 2012


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Where I stayed
Travellers Inn, Singapore

Flag of Singapore  ,
Sunday, October 9, 2011



Welcome to Kate and Martin's Exceptionally Long Tours (Kamel Tours) for short. This one day tour programme will take in aspects of Singapore you would never want to or would not really consider visiting all in one day unless you were slightly disturbed or had strange complicated tendencies. Highlights of this tour include in no particular order, because if you ordered them in a different way they still wouldn’t make any sense – however an order has been provided to give an idea of a possible itinerary;

11.30am - McDonalds on Jalan Besar Road – Particular favourites include Large double Quarter Pounder Meal with Mountain Dew for those of a Martin disposition and a Hamburger Happy Meal with a Kate like hunger.

Midday - Little India – You can feel like you are in India without leaving Singapore. Much like Little India's found in every other major city but with a Singapore twist to it. Everyone seems to be nice and leaves you alone and nobody tries to run you over with a moped.

13.00pm - Mall adjacent to Bugis Street to allow sightseeing of a Sylvanian Families toy shelf. Other favourites that may be viewed include 'Top Trumps’ and ‘Thomas The Tank Engine’.

13.30pm - Bugis Street Market (To search for a hair salon which we visited 3 years ago called ‘Jizz Hair’ which no longer appears to be there). You can buy a fruit drink here though for $1 which is meant to be nice (Opinions of Kate regarding food and drink items should be taken with a pinch of salt. If in doubt please refer to someone who has an interest in food and fruit like beverages).

14.00pm - A Park adjacent to a Gothic Skyscraper in which Kate remembered a big balloon used to be, which now appears to be the site of a new Metro station currently under construction. Appearance of Balloon is unlikely unless time travel is possible.

14.15pm - The Park Royal Hotel on Beach Road and connected mini-mall in remembrance of Martin and Kate’s Honeymoon stay at this very hotel.

14.45pm - The Suntec Mall (as this is on the way to somewhere else and we also remembered this place)

15.20pm - The Grand Prix Grandstand at Marina Bay (currently the barriers etc are being dismantled post the grand prix 2 weeks ago, however lucky customers on this tour may be able to find some Tyre rubber on the track as a memento).

15.30pm - The Marina Bay Sands Promenade including Bridge

15.45pm - The Art Science Centre (Current exhibitions include the Van Gogh Alive Exhibit and the Dali – Mind of a Genius Exhibit) – Additional Costs may occur if you wish to view these exhibits - $24 SGD per adult.  If you enjoy artsy fartsy displays then you will love the Van Gogh exhibit. You too can sit in a room with pleasant tinklings of classical music as all the walls around you rotate through a thousand images of Van Gogh’s work. An enlightening experience.

If you’re slightly twisted you may understand some of Dali’s stuff – but it’s unlikely. Be prepared to exit this exhibition feeling slightly warped and disturbed.

18:00pm - A Walk along the Marina Bay Boardwalk to listen to the sounds of Michael Jackson’s ‘Man in the Mirror’ on Acoustic Guitar while a small child dances to the amusement of his family. Wedding parties may also be found on this beautifully landscaped new section of Singapore taking their posed cheesy Wedding photos.

A brief return to your accommodation for a change of clothing will then be required before the continuation of the tour at 7.30pm.

19.30 – Return to Marina Bay Sands for the start of the evening programme.

20.00 – Light and Water Show at Marina Bay Sands – A free show will delight all with a bubble, water, laser and light spectacular accompanied by the most heartwarming uplifting music available. Visitors will be subjected to imagery of the most disgustingly slushy (baby crawling around, children laughing etc) nature, with musical favourites like "Wonderful World" belted out in dramatic style.

20:30 – Dinner at Lau Pa Sat Hawker Centre. You too can now eat like a local. Feast on the biggest and oldest food market of them all. Get bothered every step you take by people wanting you to eat at their stall. Drink slowly warming beer in a humid, badly fanned food hall, and delight in returning to carrying a canteen -esque tray of school time memories.

21.00 – After drinking a couple of overpriced but cheaper than anywhere else beers at Lau Pa Sat, you will be whisked along the Marina front to see the mystical Merlion spewing water into the bay. A great spot for a few photos of the slightly surreal creature.

At this point it is worth noting that photographers who are unable to take a beautiful photo of Singapore Marina at night should probably give up photography. This city is spectacular.

21.30 – A walk back across the park past St Something’s Cathedral which has been revamped recently will finish off the day in style. Enjoy seeing small groups have late night picnics in the park under the Moonlit sky, and hearing the rumbles of thunder in the distance.

If you are interested in this type of Tour, you must be a backpacker. Total cost excluding entrance to the Art Science Museum, and lunch/dinner at McDonalds and Lau Pa Sat is $7. ($3 dollars of this is a returnable deposit for the metro system). Dinner at Lau Pa Sat may vary between $2.50 for a main meal to $10. A Jug of beer (2 pints) will set you back $17.

The tour can be tailored to your own requirements by throwing darts at a map for randomness and then joining the dots.
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