5 bombs in 24 hours? Let's go there...

Trip Start Apr 29, 2006
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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Chapter I:Mark:Travelpod Entry 41:Verses 4-17

Mark's letter to the Ephesians:

And followeth the trying journey, Mark did so to the Ephesians pen:
"
Hey Ephesians! What up? Long time no see hey? What's been going on in the last 3000 years? Just been in Greece - Santorini was cool and amazingly beautiful but Ios was a bit shit. I was in the area the other day so I thought I'd drop in on old Ephesus to catch up with the kids. What the fuck happened? I can't believe that the harbour receded and the port dried up and now everything's turned to shit. I remember when Bath Street was pumping on Friday nights - Hadrian used to have those massive parties and we could sit up on the balcony and get fanned by massive bamboo leaves. Now there's just a heap of tour group going through posing for pictures outside the library. Can you belive it? Back in our day, the library was where the nerds used to hang out, reading books and shit. Remember when you stole those scrolls once and made them into a paper plane? Ahh = good times. Anyway, the library is still in decent shape, as is the arena. In fact, the arena is still looking pretty fucking good. Well, I guess considering that it has been about 3000 years, the city is still generally in pretty good shape. In fact, all the tourists arriving today would probably think it's awesome, if they hadn't been there before. But it's not a patch on the days of the old Hadrian parties. Actually, they still haven't found heaps of the city - it's still underground. Hope they don't find any evidence of the shit we used to get up to. Anyway = gotta go = the cafe in Kusadasi where I'm writing this letter - the owner's giving me evils.

Write me. Do it.

Mark "

Chapter 2 - So there's an American, a German, an aussie and a Turk on a bus right, and...

I love the smell of suicide bombs in the morning. Well, not so much. It's not as if I can smell them. In fact, it's not even as if I've been in the immediate vicinity of them. But there's nothing like a few, and a pledge by a terrorist group to make 'hell' in the country that you are travelling in, to effect just a little increase in your paranoia settings. I sat on the minibus to Ephesus and had a look around, trying to identify possible perpetrators of terrorism, those that may be seeking to cause death and destruction, or maybe just a hot chick. My mind continued as follows:
German couple on the back seat? Germans. Both wearing extremely sturdy footwear. Within 2.5% of each other. No threat to life.
American family in front of me? Loud. Southern. No stupid comments noted yet. Unlikely threat to life but potential cause of pain through stupidity.
Turkish guy next to me? Backpack. Hmmm.... Terrible BO. Aren't suicide bombers meant to cleanse before a suicide? He certainly hasn't. I hope the O goes with the B. BO more of a concern than potential bomb. Thoughts interrupted from front seat. "Chuck - Is PH said as an F or a P in turkish - y'know. is it actually Eppesus". Winner. No doubts at all they would come through with the goods. Dude next to me all ok. Bad BO though. O go with the B.

Chapter 3: Reflections on an entry

This is a lazy blog entry. At dinner last night, the waiter used a dustbuster to clean my table. Living the dream.

Chapter 4: I like to call them toots

So, to the Top 5. I love getting hassled. By touts. It's like being in China again, except in Turkey, the fact that I'm chinese doesn't make me immune from touts. So they come at me from all angles (does it happen to everyone or is it just because I'm devilishly handsome), calling me Jackie Chan, trying to sell me such varieties of wonderful, exotic pieces of merchandise. And they're good at it. In fact, so good at it are they that I've ended up purchasing item after item; things that I neither needed nor could afford. Here are the Top 5.

5. An exquisite hand carved wooden camel from the finest woods in all Turkey.
4. A leather jacket in case it gets below 40 degrees.
3. A 'genuine fake watch'. Well, that's what the guy described it as. Despite this, I have no doubts, whatsoever, that it is real. Incredible bargain.
2. A dwarf. His name is Mehmet.
1. A carpet. A magic carpet. It flies. Like the one that Aladdin has. Princess Jasmine digs it.

Note: The above Top 5 is entirely fictional and bears no resemblance to any actual purchases made*. As told to touts, the prices of goods in Turkey far exceed those of China, my homeland, and, hence, I would purchase them at home upon my return.

* This disclaimer does not apply to the purchase referred to at No 2.
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