Lost (and Rules of Travel #7)

Trip Start Mar 30, 2009
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46
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Trip End Ongoing


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Flag of United States  , Texas
Thursday, May 21, 2009

Not physically lost, but mentally and emotionally lost. Or maybe just exhausted. Or overloaded. Whatever.

I don't even remember why I drove north from Austin, just a vague idea to hike Canyon of the Eagles and a few other places, but more on that later.  What I ended up doing was nothing. Absolutely nothing. The hotel is extremely nice, much cheaper than Austin, so the price was right to just hibernate for a while. Besides, there's really nothing to do here. I did try to see a movie, but the one screen sold out, and they wouldn't sell tickets to the next showing until an hour before it started. So you mean I have to leave, come back in an hour to buy a ticket, then leave, and come back an hour after that to see the show? Yes, that's how it works. She's extremely lucky there were kids around and I had to hold my tongue.

I've slept for 10-12 hours each night, then taken a nap most days. I've gone out for food once a day, but otherwise have watermelon, fruit, raw veggies, and leftover Louie Mueller's in the tiny fridge. I've watched hours and hours of mindless television and read only a little. I took several long baths, gave myself a pedicure, and fell asleep with a masque on my face. Still not sure how rested I am, but I feel really, really clean!

I even stayed an extra day just to do more of nothing.

Today (the 25th), I've finally got the gumption to plan my next move. Canyon of the Eagles has a private lodge and says they have nothing to do with the campground, but to call Texas State Parks. Of course, the park service isn't answering the phone (closed on one of the busiest days of the year), and their site has no information on the campground, just refers you back to that same lodge. I decided to call in the morning, but ran across a number for the people who run the kayak rentals. If I could get a campsite, I could kayak; oh, but they only take online reservations 24 hours in advance. Repeat, you can't walk up to the little shack and rent a kayak, you have to reserve it online a day ahead. And, no, there is no wi-fi in the campground, so there is no way to do this without leaving the area. I gave the woman a few choice words and hung up. I'm really getting sick and tired of dealing with people who can't run a business! Any wonder why I want to disappear into the wilds of Big Bend?

So screw Canyon of the Eagles. I'm leaving in the morning to drive to Fredericksburg, which I will use as my home base for a week of driving throughout hill country. I'm even going to skip San Antonio, because I think if I have to deal with many more crowds I'll just explode. Or implode. So a few days driving alone in hill country and laying by the hotel pool, then straight to Big Bend.

Marijka's Rules of Travel #7: Know Thyself.  I spend most of my time at home hibernating; I repeatedly decline invitations in order to stay home; I'd rather be in my studio or reading or digging in the yard than almost anything. So why in the hell would I end up spending so much time in cities and towns on this trip? I do love museums and other citified outings, but that doesn't mean I have to stay in town. I just get caught up in all the things to do and lose my focus, energy, and spirit. There's been too much Dallas/Houston/even Austin, and not enough nature - even as I keep writing that nature is what saves me. What an idiot. So, Popeye, I yam what I yam, and I just can't lose focus again. It makes me depressed, frustrated, and wanting to go home. So in lieu of a tattoo, tonight I'm going to write a mission statement and tape it to my dashboard. I'll share it with you later.

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NOTE:  I spent most of the night researching Fredericksburg and day trips around it, and feel a bit more excited about the next week - I've certainly had enough sleep to handle it. But in the spirit of being honest about my trip and what I'm experiencing, the above entry stands. So, friends and family, there is no need to worry (Aunt Ruby!) or try to solve my problems (Aunt Ruby!); I'm doing just fine. (I love you, Aunt Ruby! :-)
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