Dad's funeral

  Deventer, Overijssel, Netherlands
Wednesday, June 20, 1979

My parents had decided to move back to Holland after 15 years in the US and dad booked a trip on the Queen Elizabeth II from NYC so that they could return in style.  Shockingly, he died of a heart attack the day before arriving in France and I found myself booking a trip to Holland.

 Much of this trip is blur - for obvious reasons - but a few things stand out, most notable the trip there.  I booked a flight from Denver to Amsterdam via JFK.  As we were descending in New York, I was staring out the window at nothing but thick fog.  When the fog cleared a bit I noticed we were heading straight into the water!  Apparently the pilot noticed at that same moment and my stomach lurched as he pulled the nose up sharply to avoid the inevitable.  I was remarkably calm (numb) and my thought was, "Well, I guess I'll go be with dad."

It was decided the plane would head to LaGuardia to wait out the fog.   I don't know how long we sat on the runway but we weren't allowed to leave the plane because we could take off at any moment.  I was concerned about mssing my 10 p.m. flight to Amsterdam but couldn't do anything but wait.  Finally we were cleared for the 5 minute flight to JFK and I ran to catch the KLM flight but missed it by a few minutes.  Now what??? 

Clearly I needed to get on another plane and there was a flight to London at midnight.  I figured I'd at least be on the right side of the Atlantic and I could get to Amsterdam easily from there so I approached the desk and pleaded my case.  The fog had wrought havoc with many flights and there were many other people trying to rebook missed connections but I was assured I would get priority since my trip was due to a death in the family.  I was told to take a seat at the gate and they would call my name.  Midnight came and went and several names were called as I patiently waited.  But when they started to close the door to the jetway I jumped up and yelled "Hey, I'm supposed to be on that plane!!"  I was told there was only a first class seat available and I said that was their problem and I have to be on that plane!  They relented, probably so that they could be rif of my crazed self, and I settled into a nice and comfortable seat and started to relax.  Within a few minutes we were taxiing and getting ready for take off.  We made it to number two in line and then...engine trouble!  Back to the gate.  OH MY GOD WHAT NEXT!!???!???!!  At this point I started drinking.   They served us free liquor while we were stuck in the plane at the gate...I don't remember anything else about the trip but apparently we took off and landed at Heathrow with no further trouble.  From there I hopped on a plane to Amsterdam and was a little crushed that no one was awaiting me at the airport.  So I called my aunt and she was so relieved to hear my voice!  I hadn't been able to let them know about my missed connection and they were worried sick about me when I wasn't on my original flight.

I was in Holland for two weeks and it was a bittersweet visit of course.  It was so good to be with my family and we laughed a lot.  I felt guilty about that for a long time but realize now that we have to mitigate the grief somehow because to feel the enormity of it all at once could destroy us. 

Up until dad's death, I thought funerals were silly and didn't see the need for them.  But as soon as I heard he'd died I knew I had to be there for him.  It was a truly primal urge - very powerful.   And at the time I didn't realize that I would appreciate having a place to go and visit dad as it  were. 

I returned to Denver and two days later was on a flight to Chicago to spend the 4th of July with Steve's family.  We passed through a terrible lightning storm on the way there and the stress of these two trips manifested in a sudden fear of flying.  I didn't fly again for 12 years! 

It's still funny to me how that has changed.  Despite the discomforts, security hassles, terrible food, I love to fly!  Of course there is the positive association with vacation time but I also love to see the planet from a plane and I spend a lot of time staring out the window.  I love little planes because they fly lower and check out the video of the gyrocopter in Costa Rica...http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/margreet98/1/1227665040/tpod.html