An Amalgam

  Chaing Mai, Thailand
Friday, October 29, 2004

"Amalgam". What a wonderful word. Look at what all that fancy private schooling accomplished! I've got stories galore this week and photos to match. The table of contents is as follows:

1) Transportation in Thailand: An Overview

2) Marriage, the Possibilities are Limitless

3) Stinky Toenails

4) It's Official, I'm Beyond Culture Shock

5) Fine Farewells

Let Us Begin With Transportation Shall We?
An entire book could be written about the various modes of transportation here in Thailand. I would like to give you, dear reader, a brief introduction to the ones I have utilized. I think that it is only appropriate to begin with the Tuk Tuk.

The Tuk Tuk is an interesting automobile. It's a three wheeled motorcycle for the most part and you can't come to Thailand and not ride in one it's like their national symbol. Unfortunately, riding in one of these is a filthy, miserable, hot, and some times life threatening experience. Not to mention the fact that the exhaust one of these little vehicles spews from the rear is enough to render one unconscious. However, they are the cheapest and quickest way to get around Bangkok so you better believe that's how I did it.

Once outside of Bangkok, especially in Chaing Mai, I have discovered the sangthaew. This is the Thai variation on the taxi. The people at the park refer to them as busses but really they are pickup trucks with two benches in the bed. These busses come in a variety of colors, each color denotes which district that bus services. So far I have seen red, green, blue, white, and yellow sangthaews but the one I use to go to and from the park is the "yellow bus".

These busses are used mostly by the locals. I have yet to see another foreigner on one, which is one of my favorite things about them. I have learned more about Thai culture and seen more amazing things on these yellow busses than I have anywhere else in Thailand. Most impressive are the quantity and variety of the contents jammed onto these little trucks.
It has become a game for me to make note of said contents:
Keep in mind while reading this that I am in a tropical climate, I get car sick
very easily, and it takes about 2 hrs to reach anywhere in one of these.

* Most People Ever Seen on the Yellow Bus at one time: 26 (only 3 of them children)
* 20 people, one large bucket of live fish, 2 full size bags rice, and a motorbike
on the top. - I laugh about this particular trip now but in all reality I thought
I would vomit for the duration of the ride.
* Myself, 2 Women, 4 hens, and 1 pissed off rooster. The women put their birds
(uncontained) in the back of the bus, climbed on themselves, and then put some
chicken wire up across the back door. The birds proceded to shit and flap wildly
and the rooster crowed for the next hour until I (thank God) finally reached my
destination an hour later. It was hilarious!
* About 18 people, 1 child vomiting non-stop into a plastic grocery bag, 2 newborn
babies that cried nearly the entire time, and 1 unidentified passenger with
horrible gas.
* Myself and one other incredibly drunk Thai woman, who spoke enough English to
inform me that she had just cheated on her husband and that she wanted me to meet
her son (shocking).

Not nearly as exciting, or cheap, as the sangthaews are the big busses that I take for longer distance travel. They are pretty typical for a bus. You can choose between, fan, A/C, or VIP.


If you are looking just for a pleasant, quiet ride around town and don't have to be anywhere in a hurry you can take one of these...

I don't know what they are called but they are my favorite thing to take while I'm in Chaing Mai. The drivers are really friendly and it's only 5 Bt to go anywhere in town.

Finally we have the motorbike, the vespa, the scooter, whatever you want to call it. I find it equally amazing to see how many people will ride on one these at a time. You only have to be 15 to get a license to drive one so kids will pile on these 4 deep to go to school in the morning. I also see whole families mom, dad, child, and baby on them a lot. It makes me nervous to watch but it doesn't bother then a bit. There is a helmet law but it is not really enforced outside of the cities.

This is Mint and her son on their way to school in the morning.

There is also the bicycle and trains those don't need much explanation.

That concludes the lesson on Thai transportation.

How Will I Ever Choose the Best Thai Husband With All These Options?
This past week while I was teaching at the police station Uncle Tuan asked me to marry him. At first I laughed, ha ha, and then I realized he was not smiling. So I stopped laughing. With the help of one of my better students he explained that he made good money and that he would be more than happy to pay for to go back and visit my family whenever I wanted. See mom, it could have been a great deal! He continued to tell me that Thailand was a wonderful place to live and we could go to the beach any time I so desired. Tears welling in my eyes from the agony of laughter kept in too long I explained to him that unfortunately I was not looking for marriage at this time but when that time in life came for me, that I would certainly remember his proposal.
The next class period the after class discussion was about politics (Thai people are very informed about American politics, I think even more than about their own government). Eventually in came out that I was not a Republican. At this point Uncle Tuan abruptly informed me that he would be revoking his marriage proposal. It turns out that he is an adamant Republican, in fact his nickname at the station is "Big Ivory" (At this point I would like to thank Maura Brady, without who I would not have understood this nickname). So, alas, I shall never be Mrs. Captain Uncle Tuan.

The shorter, older, of the two men standing beside me in this picture (the one to the
left) is Uncle Tuan. He's a handsome fella just a bit too old I think. To bad it
didn't work out.

Here we have Police Checkpoint #1 in all of it's glory.


and this is BooBoo one of the station dogs.

I thought the paint job was pretty impressive, I'm glad the police are staying busy.

Ahhhh Hygiene
I debated omitting this part of the entry because it's kind of disgusting, but then I thought, the people reading this know me so they will not be too shocked if I venture to the repulsive. So here it is, my experience with stinky toenails. This is a direct excerpt from my journal:
"Wow! The wonders of the human body. I just cut my toenails and the smell of my toenail gunk was shocking! I wonder how that smell came to be? It was a bouquet of poop, belly button fuzz, and rotten flesh all at once. ShoooWheee! I tell you what, if ever there was a time I was grateful to be traveling solo it was just now. Any man who found out I could produce such a smell from only my toe would surely be repulsed to the point of no return. Amazing I tell you, simply amazing. Good ridance to the funkiest of all funky toe funk."
Do you miss me yet?

I Have Come to a Turning Point in My Travels
I was eating dinner last night at one of the food stalls in Chaing Mai. My usual, vegetables, tofu, and rice with some sort of tasty sauce. There I was munch, munch, munching and I thought to myself, "Mmmmm delicious as usual and only 15 bt (that's like 40 cents). What a deal! Oops, watch out for that beatle, yep better pull that guy out of the sauce." (I use my fork to pick the giant bug of my meal and carry on)"Hmmmm he was bigger than the last one, poor little buggy."
Shortly thereafter it occured to me that that was not a normal reaction by western standards. I should have at least been a weee bit surprised. But because I wasn't, not even a little, I think I have graduated, I am officially accustomed to Thailand! It was an exciting moment for me.

I'm Making a Move
Yesterday I left the National Park I've been working at behind and later today I will be heading the Queen Sirikit Botanical Gardens. I'm really looking forward to it. I had a chance to visit them at the beginning of my trip and there was a rumor that they were looking for some help with the English displays at the Natural History Museum they are building there. So I called them and they said, "We will make your bed, call us when you want us to pick you up." And so, here I go!
I can't wait to send pictures of this place. It's one of the Royal Projects here in Thailand so it's a really nice facility. I will tell you more about everything they do there when I have some photos.

Talk to ya in a week or so!
Lauren

PS. These are a few other pictures from the last week....
The Night Flower Market in Chaing Mai
Open from 7PM until 6AM




Mint's Mom's House
The Kitchen