Week 6 - Kep - Days 36, 37, 38
Trip Start
Sep 08, 2011
1
22
44
Trip End
Jan 09, 2012
Kep, Cambodia
Monday, October 31, 2011
Before leaving Phnom Penh we had a fry up. Much needed. We then went on an unsuccessful jaunt to find an ATM. Instead we found 4 different shops in a row, outside each was a man washing a decapitated small shaved water buffalo (I guessed it was a water buffalo as they have giant arseholes, so it wasn't a pig). We didn't see the heads. I couldn't turn away, it was like a car crash of Jayne Mansfield bovine proportions.
The bus to Kep was the usual fare of stopping every 5 minutes so the driver could buy coconuts and beeping every 30 seconds. When driving in Asia the buses beep when they overtake, they beep when going round a corner, they beep at people crossing, they beep when there has been a 10 second lapse since the last beep.
As only a few of us got off at Kep there was a rugby scrum of tuk tuk drivers waiting to show us the guest house. We were surrounded and I actually had to wheel out a 'woah woah woah one at a time'. We jumped into the less pushiest and off we went. Kep doesn't have much of a beach but it is the closest we have come to the sea and beach this trip and it seems very picturesque.
The guest house was nice. It doesn't have a tv and we have been spoiled by our almost flashpacking. So I am currently having withdrawals from perving on Taylor Swift videos. Ahh Taylor, you look like a cat but that is just fine by me.
Our guest house has a seafood restaurant in town that is recommended so we headed to it and found it amongst these crab shacks built over the sea. We didn't see Crabman from My Name is Earl, but we did see the sunset over the mountain islands. The food is served with the local Kampot pepper. I went for the crab and J went for boring chicken. She had some of my crab but only if I got the meat out for her and she didn't see any crab parts as that would put her off. I guess for her it would be like eating a burger with the cow's head next to you.
Either way the crab and the peppers were amazing. Literally incredible. We only had one flashback to an all you can eat seafood meal we had in the Maldives where I ate an oceans worth of fish and was put off all fish, including fish fingers for years. Me and buffets are a dangerous combo.
It took me about 2 hours to eat ol' pinchy. My beard was a mess. After the carnage we sat back and looked at the ocean which was dotted with crab traps which people kept swimming out to check.
When they handed me the bill the fan blew it away and after a few lame limp wristed attempts to grab it, it went into the sea. Resulting in the nearest table of two older women (probably enjoying their second fish supper of the day) to laugh at me. Smooth move.
Day 37 - 11/01/11 - Kep - Koh Tonsay (Rabbit Island) - Kep
Checked out the nearest beach island to Kep called Koh Tonsay or Rabbit Island as it is known due to it's shape. We decided just to do this as a day trip as you can overnight on the island but the accommodation is super basic (just wooden bungalows with little or no electric on the beach front).
The tuk tuk picked us up at 8.30am and took us to the dock and the 20 min boat over was pretty smooth. The island is small and it has a little stretch of beach, but the water was warm and it had a nice jungle undeveloped feel.
Saw a dog eating half a coconut and an hour later a chicken and it's chick with their heads inside another coconut. These animals are coconut crazy. There were a few dogs on the island that didn't seem to belong to anyone. So I spent an unreasonable amount of time wondering how they got here. Maybe it was the Dharma Initiative.
I can't do sitting still sunbathing very well without getting bored so I went for a wander and found rubber rings! The next 6 hours were spent laying on the rubber rings in the sea.
We carefully dried off whilst waiting for the boat back only for the ride to be ridiculously choppy. The driver (do boats have drivers?) was hitting every wave and at the end of it everyone was drenched. It was like a salty log flume.
As I was so wet I decided to wear a sarrong for the first time in my life and I only found men 17% more attractive whilst wearing it.
As we landed on the other side we realised how burnt we were. The sun didn't feel that hot when in the sea and now we were both red raw and in agony. We got the tuk tuk to drop us off at the crab shack place and I ordered the prawns/shrimps (J was still playing it safe by ordering meat). You know you have ordered too much when they put your dish in the middle and give everyone else empty plates. There was around 30 massive prawns on the plate and I feel sick just thinking about it now (it was great at the time).
We then walked very slowly back to the hotel and put lotion on very carefully like the burn victims we are.
Day 38 - 11/02/11 - Kep
The blistering sunburn meant we didn't do much today.
J wore her flowing white cotton top that I think makes her look like a member of Take That in the Pray video. So she started singing and I said she wasn't even a good member of Take That and more like a Jason or a Howard. This reminded me of a story I read about Jason Orange dating Catherine Tate (could of sworn they were both gay). J said that she told me about the story and I said she didn't and that I read it in the Daily Mail online. This led to an argument over who told who about Jason Bloody Orange which ended in us slapping each others sunburn. There were no winners in that little episode.
J had a swing on the hammock while I researched the next destination and Pol Pot and after an afternoon siesta we had dinner in town on a balcony over looking the sea. The sun was setting our skin on fire. On the way back we saw a Cambodian couple eating on the road side surrounded by 8 monkeys like it was the most normal thing on earth.
We saw the Kep mermaid statue but it seems she has two legs. So I am not sure what qualifies her as a mermaid. But then again, didn't Daryl Hannah have two normal legs outside the water in Splash? The statue is topless and apparently the locals cover her breasts up. I would definitely prefer top half woman, bottom half fish.
Comments
I take it they do not celebrate Hallowen in Cambodia, shame, they would have a head start with all those skulls! I hope the boy touching your love handles was not a forerunner for a man with a big pot, so much for returning home sylphlike xxxxx
you really are a comic genuis!
ps. boats have captains!c
pps. i have a flowing white dress so Julie & i can look like gays together!!