LuLu
Trip Start
Unknown
1
17
Trip End
Ongoing
Sydney, Australia
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Let me set the scene. It is second year, and I haven't pulled a root for a couple of days, so I'm feeling depressed when a couple of the lads, S, J and R (aka Johnnie
Holmes) decide to join the 100's club. For those that don't know, this is where you drink a shot of beer every minute for a hundred minutes then you keep going. We all started off well, young Johnnie Holmes decided not to embarrass us and retired after about 50 or so. It was quite humble of him and we later heard he went back to his room and actually sunk 400 more and only stopped because he was bored with beating the world record. Anyway, as usual, I digress. We were approaching 200 and S was starting to struggle, but buoyed by the knowledge that 200 was Steve Waugh's highest score he pushed on, made it and was then aware of the floor rapidly coming to meet his face.
Just 2 left then, J and I, we kept going drink for drink and eventually ran out of beer. Not to worry as I had had enough and my mind had already turned to ladies. B (B pass me the ball!) had put it into my head earlier in the night that tonight was the night we should become college legends, so I wanted to take it a step further and nail a professional. Her name was LuLu. We found her in the Yellow Pages and she was one ugly skank, but full of 240 shots of beer I didn't mind. I took her into my room and proceeded to fall over as I tried to take my pants off. On the 3rd attempt I just left them at my ankles and flung myself on the bed and said 'come get some'. She obliged (how could she resist, she was only human) and proceeded to give me a nice little blowie, during which I fell asleep (and I'm told farted twice). But being the consummate professional that she was, LuLu kept on trucking. I'd had enough blowie and a voice in my head, or perhaps W from the balcony, told me to turn her over and nail her senseless. Who am I to argue with....mmganjuvnifisn...five bucks get outta here! Anyway I lost a bit of time there again, I may even have been kidnapped by aliens, but you don't see me whingeing about it, there is nothing wrong with a little anal probing.
4 hours later and I'm still struggling to get that shot off. W & B (B pass me the ball!) are all on S's balcony watching me, with popcorn and 3d glasses and W, being the saint he was, even tried to wake up a comatose S by kicking him in the head 15 times so he too could enjoy the action. Lulu finally came up the solution, 'pull yourself off whilst I satisfy myself Amazon style' she says. An hour later and I'd fired torpedo one, for which LuLu gave me a standing ovation and a $240 bill, and the boys gave a cheer as they could finally go to sleep. So basically the moral of the story is that I had to pay $240 for a pull.
