Port Douglas - Cairns
Trip Start Jan 2003
200Trip End Dec 2003
Map your own trip!
Show trip route
After a scenic drive to Cairns, we're beginning to see a bit more of what we expected from the East Coast. While there are some beautiful places, there are also a lot of drunk english people which somewhat detract from the appeal. It seems people want to extend their student lifestyles as long as possible (Snakebite and black is even advertised at some pubs) and they will stoop to embarrassingly low levels to prolong their stay away from the real world. While personally I'd rather not work while travelling (I'd prefer to work for a bit loner at home before leaving and save the money) I can understand people who do that. What I fail to comprehend are the people who walk around favourite backpacker haunts stealing other people's drinks and generally scavenging and scrounging more than I believed to be humanly possible. Go and get a job, preferably somewhere far away from me!
The hunt for the dream machine has begun but what we've seen so far has projected more images of collapsing cartoon cras than glamorous Hollywood road movies. I did have some sympathy for a European couple trying to sell a tiny brown camper van (dubbed the 'Turdmobile') which even in my non-mechanical eyes missed an appointment with the scrapyard ten years ago. The freebies included with a backpacker car purchase are also sources for amusement. While most practically include maps, tents and camping gear we've seen skateboards, mobile phones and dumb-bells offered as incentives. The turdmobile even advertised two dish cloths, a spade and an undefined length of rope.
We succumbed to another backpakcer/student night out and following the daily visit to the Woolshed (everyone gets a voucher for a crappy free meal every night but you can upgrade to something slightly more edible and filling for a small fee) we ended up at Johno's Blues Bar. This establishment attracts few backpackers (it costs as much as GBP1.10 for a pint) but does seem to draw all Cairns's resident weirdos. Kirsty, V, Steve (a new 'friend' from Manchester) and I were targetted by one going by the name of Terry. After thinking we'd managed to get rid of him by just about ignoring him completely, he returned to our table armed with a trayful of rum and cokes. He proceeded to tell us his life story and after hearing he'd lost his job the previous day, hence his night out, I began to feel sorry for him (this and the fact that he sported an embarrassing pair of bitch tits). He then kicked me in the teeth by refusing to accept any of the rum and cokes I'd bought in return in case they were spiked. I bloody hate the stuff but I was trying to appear friendly. It seems we've gone from one extreme to the other, getting thoroughly pissed off with people scrounging drinks to not being able to give them away!