Long Beach, California
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
A loud and feisty Ajana was yelling at Jashuan to get out of her way as she bumped and pushed her way to her old desk. I took a breath in and exhaled slowly asking her to lower her voice and settle down into her new seat. She refused and began mouthing off at me about something or another. I didn't hear her. "Outside with that chair and get comfortable." I commanded. She obeyed and chirped something or another as she exited my biology class. I was already on to the next priority of making sure the class knew her poor choice of conduct had immediate consequences to herself and none to me, the teacher. "It doesn't hurt me if you choose fail the class. I do not suffer. The student suffers." I clarified for the mildly amused class of 35 13 to 15 year-olds. Teenagers love to see teacher-student conflict eat up their class time. A bit of Jerry Springer can be a very entertaining option from Cornell notes on organic compounds. However, I steered the class onward toward the objective. The lesson rolled on with notes and a worksheet on carbon compounds. Mean while, Ajana was screaming across the campus to her friends. I stepped outside to quiet that obnoxious mouth. It back fired on me as she brought more negative attention to herself by loudly letting me know who little she cared about this class. "I want to be transferred out of this class." she sassed at me. Without expression I went back into the class after asking her to cease from campus wide disruptions. She relinquished. At the end of the period I had her stay to give me her correct phone number since her number in the system was incorrect. She gave it to me. I was about to call up her mother and have a phone conference with Ajana, mother and myself. It would be an attempt to nip this behavior in the bud. Ajana became even more flustered. I was about to start loosing my cool when I remembered my breathing from yoga. I took a long deep inhale and exhaling I asked Ajana to go back to yesterday with me when our teacher-student relationship seemed to have splintered. She rolled her eyes and expressed her lack of care towards this class and myself as only a teenage girl can. I pulled a switcheroo on her and told her that she is very smart. I reminded her of the two 'A's she earned on her last two quizzes. I told that I can be very stubborn, too, but we have eight more months together and we need to work something out now. Eyes continued to roll but she turned toward me. I asked her again what happened yesterday between us to clarify our struggle. It turned out to be her seat was too far to the side of the room and she couldn't see the white board as easily as she liked. I had thought she just wanted to move to get away from someone she didn't like, so I had her stay put. Her head went into her arms and never came up until the bell rang 40 minutes later. I noticed this and made the mental note. The stage was set for today's outburst. After rearranging her to the front next to me we were both happy. Clarified and calmed to smiles she apologized and promised to come in a make up missing work. Normally at the end of the day I am easily frustrated and lose my patience. I deal out the consequence and move on, but taking one deep breath to center my thoughts and emotions turned a would-be-year-long-battle into a golden opportunity in conflict management techniques for this young lady and myself. Yoga stretched out my coping muscles and strengthened the core of a student-teacher relationship.
Comments
Very fine lesson, kal. I have a situation that I will use this technique on. Time to listen and to listen and to listen may be the strength of conversation!!
Really appreciated the thinking before the talking strategy. Keep it up, Son.