Surf's up!

  Kuta, Bali, Indonesia
Sunday, April 27, 2008

Ahh Bali, that Australia holiday cliche. I descended upon the madness that is Kuta beach, the ever-pulsating tourist heart of Bali, bursting with more foreign tourists, souvenir stalls, funky tourist restaurants, chic bars, pesky vendors, surfer dudes and scooters than you can shake a peanut-sauce covered satay stick at. It beats Phuket hands down in terms of scale, and makes the Gold Coast look like a one-horse town.

Like the kiasu Singaporean that I am, my first instinct was to try and explore every last souvenir/craft stall. Then I realised how big the whole place was. Shops cram either side of Jalan Legian (not to mention the myriad laneways) for at least 3 suburbs. Starting from Seminyak in the north, down to Legian, then Kuta, then to at least one other suburb south. I made a valiant effort for almost an hour and a half (in the heat of the day), then resigned myself to viewing the shops from the comfort of the passenger seat of an air-conditioned taxi! By then, I had also come to realise that almost all of the shops sold similar/identical items.

Most commonly found:
- Trinkets i.e. bracelets and necklaces of wood/shell/beads by the thousands, if not tens of thousands. The stock that even the tiniest shop carried as astounding. Shop owners yelled out ever decreasing prices for trinkets that I had not even shown the slightest interest in (trinkets? me?). I think I heard as low as 500 rupiahs (1 AUD = 8500 rupiahs). Bear this figure in mind for the story Ill tell later.

- Bir Bintang T shirts.. to go with the Beer Chang T-shirt you bought in Bali.

- Interior design stores that are a variation of the Villa and Hut chain of stores in Australia. All dark wood furniture, lamps and other objects reeking of Eastern exoticism.

Speaking of Eastern Exoticism, it is ironic how many Buddha heads there are here for sale. These Buddhas (not the laughing Buddha but the one that looks like it has a head of tight Afro curls) are available in a gzillion forms. As metal figurines, as artificial-stone figurines, in bas relief on your glass candle burner, even in dreadful paint-by-numbers oil canvasses (even saw a fluoro checkerboard version done Andy Warhol style pop art style).

Hmm.. Buddhas galore in a predominantly Hindu island (Bali) in a country that has the greatest number of the world's Muslims? Whatever the tourists want, I guess. Unless that Buddha is worshipped as a Hindu deity? No idea. Is it wrong to have a Buddha head in your garden if you're not Buddhist i.e. purely for decoration? Disrespectful, at least?

(I actually prefer the gargoyles (for lack of a better term) that guard the entrances to Balinese temples. These are ferocious-looking bug-eyed creatures. Put Shrek in armour and you'll get something similar. Some of them are actually Garudas. Watch out for the entry from Ubud, where mel goes gargoyle-hunting)

- Ceramic plates and bowls inlaid with identically sized pieces of coloured glass, mosaic fashion. Tempted, but my decor style at the moment is decidedly spartan!









- Custom made surfboards. It's Kuta Beach after all! Surfing is why they came in the first place all those years ago. Saw some for sale for about A$350, new.









When tired of shopping, there's is no shortage of places to eat and drink at, including some really funky open air places next to the foreshore- all modern decor, clean lines, dim lighting at night and (I'm sure) chilled out beats in the background.

Those with less money can run the gauntlet of pesky vendors on the foreshore. Here is Kuta beach itself, a fabulously long and straight stretch of sand and surf. Great swells break upon the shore here, in long languid barrel waves. There are almost as many surfers (and surfer wannabes) as vendors trying to sell you everything from (yet another) trinket to sarongs, T shirts, surf board rental/lessons, drinks, 2 minute noodle dishes, nail-decorations (seriously, me?), temporary tattoos and on-the-beach massages.

This newbie wandered onto the beach and was immediately pounced on by a succession of vendors. I stupidly succumbed to one who, after having told her no, struck up a conversation with me. After a few minutes of chatting, she persuaded me to look at some of her wares. By this stage, it is near impossible to say no to someone who has sneaked in the back door. So I ended up with a whale-bone lucky "Bali" thing-on-a-thong that I have no use for. First person who wants it can have it! She started by asking for the ridiculous sum of 70000 rupiah (nearly A$10). I told her that that was crazy, so she said, "how much you want?". That's when I knew I was checkmated as I didn't have a clue what these things cost. There was the guy that yelled out 500 rupiahs for one necklace but I wasn't sure. Whatever crazy price I name, she would already be making a profit. I paid my 25,000 emotional blackmail fee, then sulked for the next hour. :P After this, I learnt to say, "thanks but I already have a trinket/sarong/whatever you're trying to sell me".


Karma Resort - Kandara
After the hustle and bustle of Kuta, the tranquility of Karma Resort in Kandara was a universe away. Courtesy of a friend (thanks, Edmund!), I had complimentary vouchers for 2 nights at this very exclusive resort in the Bukit Peninsula in South Bali. Set in splendid isolation atop stunning cliffs overlooking the Indian Ocean, this newly opened (March '08) resort was luxury and indulgence at every level.








I got my own 3 bedroom fully furnished (and very private) villa with its own pool. Not just any pool but an infinity pool, where water flows out over the edge on 3 sides, like in a waterfall. The sun was shining its little heart out the first day I was there, and the light made pretty patterns on the floor of the pool. :) :) :)



















The resort common area (which included the in-house restaurant di Mare) was something out of a travel magazine. Right on the cliff's edge, there were almost aerial views of the shore far below, and of the vast blue Indian ocean stretching to infinity. I never got tired of watching the long parallel wave fronts as they charged and broke endlessly, one after another. So smooth, the wave crest, until it reaches that point where it breaks. Then white foam appears, spreads and takes over all along the wave. There was also a gorgeous coral reef just off the beach below but I was disappointed that the beach was temporarily closed (umm.. resort beach cafe below burnt down!).

The tier below the restaurant had another infinity pool, and the tier above it was filled with decor for which the only appropriate music is chilled/beach house/some variation thereof. Apart from the jaw-dropping views, the restaurant was also surprisingly good. As I was already getting the accommodation for free, I spent up on fine dining. For the non-foodies, you can stop reading now.  


















Day 1- lunch
Club sandwich with pancetta, sourdough bread, and lime mayonnaise. Simple but very well done - best I have ever had. Pleasantly surprised. Sourdough bread was lightly toasted, and the lime mayonnaise gave it an unusual twist. Pancetta was a better choice than bacon. Some other sourdough bread was also provided- was surprised to learn that the bread was imported (!). Wouldn't it be funny if it was bread from Melbourne? Great fruity Italian olive oil provided to go with it.

















Day 1 - dinner
Beef Carpaccio - unusual but free. I didn't order it. I don't like argula.

Tian of jumbo green crab. Oh god, such incredible flavours again! The accompanying broth was really good, and you can just make out that there are some greenish drops of oil (probably infused with some herb) floating about.

Fennel-infused panna cotta with passionfruit sauce. I'm going to try this when I get home- great blend of flavours!!! Apparently it fennel or other anise-containing plant goes well with orange. The chef chose passionfruit for the citric (damn.. spelt it Citrix!*)/acidic component. I'd probably throw in vanillin as well.

* Oh my god, I can STILL spell Citrix! I am obviously still not relaxed enough!












Day 2 - lunch
Crisp calamari with garlic aioli. Simple dish, done very well. I think he used a tempura batter. Very light garlic aioli. Tomato fondue was a waste of time. He could have chosen any number of other sauces that would have gone better with the deep-fried calamari.

Mango and tapioca something. Icy mango sorbet on a crisp layer of something that was like candied sugar, and warm sago pearls under. Some coconut cream around the sides. Meh.












Day 2 - dinner
Wagyu beef burger. Not a patch on Rockpool's. Enough said.

Trio of melon something. 3 scoops of sorbet: lime/lemon, honeydew melon and strawberry. Finely chopped pieces of watermelon, papaya and pineapple for garnishing, and there was a clear sweet juice/syrup as "soup" (like lychee syrup?). Also some raspberry and mango coulis on the side. Flavour heaven. 

 
All in all, great to be in this weird coccoon of a place and forget that it is the third world out there. Live like royalty for a few days (and don't even think of the carbon footprint!!!).