Wow, it has been a While
Trip Start
Jan 29, 2006
1
5
Trip End
Ongoing
Dell, Antarctica
Friday, April 7, 2006
I've been scared to write anything because I haven't had anything worth while to really say, and then today happened. If you've forgotten, I work with computers at a nearby college. Well my boss hurt his back last weekend and has been gone all this week, leaving me a list in my email of things I need to attempt to get done. Well, the challenge that faced me today was going to a new office and installing a wall jack for the phone line and computer connection.
So I head down to the room, ST-030. To get to this room I have to go down a stairwell that is next to an out of order elevator and a fire exit. I open the door and enter what appears to be an episode of MTV's Fear. There is one light in the stairwell, which is flickering, and everything is made out of cement. There is a white mold growing in the corner of the wall and I really think this was built as a movie set and not a real part of the school. I finally get to the room I'm suppose to find and head on in.
The room is about the size of a big bedroom but only has a chair, a desk, and a table: nothing else. I close the door, put my iPod on, and get to work. Noon rolls around and I decide it is time to get some lunch (what are the odds that the Marriott caters this school too, no joke, and the food is just as nasty).
I head over to the door, its locked.
Thats weird, there's no key hole.
I try again, still won't open.
I knock and yell, "Hello, can someone open the door?"
Silence, o right. This office is located in the third circle of hell, I forgot.
I reach into my pocket to get my cell phone, maybe I can call the office and have someone come let me out. Reading the words "Searching for Service..." a panic comes over me. This really is the third circle of hell. For once in my life I wish that stupid Verizon dude would randomly come out from under the desk, "Can you here me now? Good" I pause, nothing. Stupid false advertising. Think, Think, Think, Think, Think, Ok. Genius Juba gets an idea. I'll put the chair on the table and climb through the ceiling over the door. This plan could work flawlessly; however, a cooling vent runs directly over that wall and I can't fit under it. I go to the wall on the other end of the room, I have no idea what is on the other side of this hell hole but I think it's near the Gallery, which is right next to the Cafe and the Bookstore.
So I drag the table to the adjacent wall and put the chair back up. I take a ceiling tile down and pull myself up using a large pipe. There's another vent here but this one isn't so large. I climb ontop and starting sliding down the vent. I can see a huge stone wall about 30 feet ahead. I figure if I come out of the ceiling near a wall I won't land on anyone.
That was the plan at least. About 25 seconds later, I'm using a huge grouping of cables to shimmy under a huge pipe. The cables break out of their little plastic thingy holding them and I fall off the left side of the vent, through a ceiling tile, and land in the bookstore on a table of sweatshirts 50% off. No joke. I'm covered in white powder and dirt and there's a broken ceiling tile on the floor and 4 people are staring at me. I cough a few times, sit up straight, and don't say anything.
"OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OK? WHAT IS GOING ON?"
pause
"Oh, I'm fine. I'm from the IT department, just installing some phone jacks. Be right back"
I quickly exit, with the ceiling tile in my hand, and head up to my office. I attack the dude in charge of the network and calmly tell him what happened. And by calmly I mean imagine me seeing a broadway show on speed, yea, I was flailing my arms and screaming. By the time I'm done recounting my adventure, 3 other employee's, including the big boss, are listening and staring at the maniac convered in white dust frantically waving a broken ceiling tile.
I got to go home for the day and on the way I decided that I'm not a real person. I think somewhere in the universe there's an author writing my life story for a local newspaper. Well anyways ladies and gentlemen, if you're still reading this, which Im sure about 2 of your are, and only because you don't want to be doing anything homework, I thank you. I will be making an appearence in DC this weekend and if I don't see you, I hate you a little.
