How aboot a little blogging aye????
Trip Start
Jan 20, 2010
1
27
41
Trip End
Jan 10, 2011
Surrey, British Columbia, Canada
Thursday, July 29, 2010
What an interesting time the last 2 week have been. I have been living with Amala (gma) and Iain (step gfa) in their little old persons cottage, very noice very noiiiice! I met a really cool girl, in fact Iain blind dated me with her, from down the road. Definitely a, 'girl next door' syndrome. She is super cool, gorgeous as all hell and of course untouchable, for she is con boyfriend. MF! It burns it burns. The only cure is aloe Vera (That was an exceptionally funny pun as her name is Vera. Therefore the only cure for her is her. Yeah funnier in my head I guess...). So we are hanging out most days, which to be honest is really nice, breath of life among the old and wrinkly.
I have been making the short bikeride to Chris and Michelle's (uncle and auntie in respective order) almost daily to see them, Miranda (cousin) and Markus (gigantic oaf/other uncle). Miranda is gigantinormous now. Actually she is chest height, average for her age, but compared to when I last saw her as a little whelp she seems HUGE!!! Chris is still runner up for the 'nicest guy on the face of the earth' award along with the Dalai Lama and Jesus. I think this year he just might clinch it. I have been really enjoying spending time over there, it is always a good laugh. Continuing on from last post it was Markus' bday, so of course we got trashed and did Rocky Balboa impersonations. "ADRIAN...ADRIAN ARRRGHHGHGHH splutter splutter splutter". Good times....
I have now been upgraded from the dungeon, aka. basement, that I was originally sleeping in that I had to sumo squat to walk around in, to the delux double bedded fouton upstairs as the German relatives have left, there were 3 of them here till last Saturday.
T-Payne (Toby) and E-Fresh (Ella) came down to Vancouver for the last week which was really swell (arm at right angle in an arc from hip to shoulder). We went to the aquarium which was totally badass. There was a dolphin show, a beluga show, otters and ceramic Narwhal that I did an ET on. When we were getting our tickets there were these two gigantic horses attached to a chariot to take people on tours. I felt inadequate, they were just so big. Then the girl behind the counter told me about how there was another horse they had that was 10' tall, 2'' off the tallest horse in the world. Also that the slightly smaller, only a mere 5' 1 tonner, would get tired and fall asleep if it stood still too long, then casually topple over. Be aware of falling horse/tank.
Last Saturday we went to see some fireworks at English Bay. On the train on the way there I met these 2 Spanish girls. I was too embarrassed to speak to them in Spanish, but they told me that the fireworks were by the best fireworks guy from Valenthhhhhhia...pardon? Valenthhhhhhhhia. Oh right Valencia! Yes, Valenthhhhhhhhia! Ok say it don't spray it! It really is true about the Spanish lisp... Now, coming from Tassie I was expecting the usual few little sky rockets then the big finisher, in total maybe 30 fireworks lasting a few minutes. I was, for lack of a better phrase, horribly wrong. The fireworks were non stop for a half hour and just spectacular! They had these gold glittery ones, they were so pretty... It was an international fireworks competition held in Vancouver every year where 4 countries compete putting on a show each over a 2 week period. The fireworks were fired off a ship out in the harbour. Free event also, totally awesome. Several hundred thousand people go, and no wonder!
On Tuesday we went shopping, well more we went looking in all the stores we couldn't afford shit in. It was kinda fun. Ella and I just dissed how bad the Gucci and similar designs were and how much people were willing to pay to look stoopid. There were these little Gucci shoe keyrings, thought they would be like $60, totally ridiculous. They were $225! I FREAKED! For $600 you could buy the real shoe, which looked dumb anyway. All looked fucking ridiculously dumb. After we went to see the movie Inception with Leonardo di Caprio, like he was in the movie, not with us in the cinema, which would have been pretty cool cause he was in the movie alos. It would have been like, 'Leo in movie, Leo in movie theatre. Giggidy goo'. Anyway fucking epic flick, all about invading the subconscious dreamland etc. That night predictably had a whack dream. There were these rich chicks, one was Serene from XOXO GOSSIP GIRL teehee! They were all bitchy and shit but they like, kinda liked me cause you, you know, I was like funny and stuff. But, like, I just don't have any money, and they can't be friends with people with no money, like, oh...my god.
Then last night, Wednesday, we went again. Before that though E & T came to mine, and by mine I mean Amala's, for lunch and a swim, then we went to Chris and Michelle's for a chillsle with Markus. After we went back to mine and I made pisco sours for them. To be honest not the best I've ever tasted. I used a bit too much raw egg and we had no ice so it tasted kinda....weird. Plus it looked like someone had pissed into a cup then jizzed into it shortly after so that didn't really add to the appeal. For those of you out there not familiar with the Pisco sour, here it is. 70cc pisco, 30cc jugo de limon (lemon juice), 1/2 huevo blanco (egg white) and cockloads of icing sugar. However as we didn't have a shaker, I just stirred it a bit, so some of the sugar coagulated into a very believable jizz replacement. Tasted alright I guess...had us buzzing at least. Then we bussed on in and got us a prime seat to watch the spectacle that would be Mexico's fireworks display. Let the fun begin!!! Hey, HEY! SIT DOWN!!! Oh you motherfuckers... As soon as the fireworks started the first two rows stood up so everyone behind couldn't see. After a minute or so everyone sat down, except for one. The guy standing right in front of us! So I got up and went to try to ask him to sit down. He was some short, stumpy, 40 something Indian dude with his daughter. When I asked, very nicely, if he could, "please sit down as you are blocking everyone sitting behind you and we cannot see" he replied, "and then how can I see? Are you going to get all of them to sit down? (indicating to the people standing on the walkway, where people stand...)", "Well that is the standing section and this is the sitting section, there's nothing I can do about them but you are standing in front of everyone.", "DERSH DERSH I'M AN ASSHOLE AND DON'T WANNA SIT DOWN BECAUSE MY EMOTIONAL MATURITY IS LESS THAN MY 4 YR OLD DAUGHTER'S!", "Ok buddy take it easy, when you remove the giant metal rode from your anus please impale yourself with it. Have a nice life.", "DERSHHHHHHH!!!!". So I went and sat back down with E & T and couldn't see shit, so I looked back and saw a little space further up the hill. I asked the people around it if we could squeeze in and they said no rpobs, even laid out a mat for us. It was a heaps better view regardless of life hater front and center and we could now see over everyone, which was lucky as this show was even more unbelievably awesome then the first. After the show we went to Burger King for a $2 Whopper, then T-Payne and I played 'scrumpled up burger wrapper table soccer and basketball', followed by 'scrumpled up burger wrapper bounce it off Ella/Robert DOWNER jr/Negative Nancy's head and catch or pass it off' until eventually the unkosaurus got a hold of it and chucked it out. This was followed by some tearful (not really) goodbyes then the cold walk home. God, I hope I didn't leave anything at their hostel...wow it is nippy out...wait, where is my jumper?...FUCK ELLA!!!! So I ran down the road and found them, retrieved the jumper and fled to the train station.
No probs on the train. However there were a few characters who stinked rather potently of alcohol and sweat. These guys also happened to be standing immediately to my right. Greaaaat! So as the train was coming into my stop, bout fucking time, the girl who was with the delightful gentleman starts blatantly staring at me. In her defence I did blatantly stare back, I never back down from a staring contest. Anyway then she gets right up in my grill, to be honest I thought she was about to kiss me, then asks, "Is that pure quartz on your knecklace?", "No it's a rice grain", "whats that?, "a grain of rice...", "oh wow", "yeah it has the Chilean flag on one side and my name on the other", "your name?", "yes", "wow your really sunburnt, you should put aloe vera all over yourself", "yeah thanks, I love the stuff". Then cromagnon stinkosaurus pipes in, "yeah you should stand under a blue light", "like a UV light?", "yeah that'll fix it, it's like the opposite", "the opposite (confused)?", "yeah, or stand under the moon", "ok thanks". That last conversation was in no way dramatised and was word for word best as I could remember it. Great guys...
Next came the eventful busride home. I was standing right in the middle of a bunch of Canadian 18-21 yr olds, who all seemed to know everyone on the bus. After a while I struck up a conversation with the 2 guys on my right. Just the usual old, 'what are you studying? Where at? Do youlike it? What are the girls like? Wow the weed is great here isn't it?'. We were chatting away when the girl to my left dropped her canteen of red wine on my foot. That sucked, my foot was then sticky. Anyway after a while the 2 guys left, their stop. They got off without saying goodbye...weird. Then I sat down and a girl same age sat down next to me. We were chatting, hahaing etc then she moved to sit next to friend, didn't say a word just cruised over. So then I was talking to the dude across from me. He and I were laughing away. He actually said, 'aboot' which had me in stiches. Then I got off, said goodbye to him and said bye to the girl I was talking to before. She looked down and didn't say anything. ARE THEY AFRAID OF GOODBYES IN THIS COUNTRY?!?!?! It was so weird. So with this strange thought I got home and gracefully crashed onto my bed into the realm of sleepytime.
So today I am heading up to Nelson with Markus to couch surf with some girls there while he goes to the Kaslo Jazz Fest, it should be fun. I'll write about that on my return! Until then, aye.
P.N. I managed to give Iain and Amala my bug from Chile, a real whipe out for them. Amala's comment was epic. "I'm fed up at myself", "Why?", "Because I'm sick, I never get sick". It's like she thinks it is her fault she got a contagious illness, what a sweetie.
