Hotties and Hezzbollah

Trip Start Feb 18, 2009
1
6
14
Trip End Apr 24, 2009


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Flag of Lebanon  ,
Friday, March 6, 2009

Leaving Syria i made my way by taxi to Tripoli in northern Lebanon. Im glad i went for the shared taxi option as i would been confused to buggery if id done it by public bus with all the border formalities. Anyway, i got in fine and headed into the city of Tripoli, not to be confused with its namesake the capital of Libya, It was a major port city for decades connecting the middle east to the med and north africa. I checked into this pension which was descibed in my guide book as 'homely' and realised that they were understating that fact quite considerably. The place was basically a 3rd floor flat that had been with the family for a long time and tro make ends meet they rented out their rooms to foriegn folks like oneself. My room had pictures of dead family members and cupboards and draws full of crap that you would expect your nan to hoard. If i was of the nickin variety i coulda had a right car boot sales worth out of em. The best part, or the worst depending on how your bowels are, was that the toilet was in their kitchen, i tried to hold on for havin a shit but i just couldnt and had to go in just knowin they were thinkin 'right, hes been in there longer than 90 seconds, hes definately havin a crap', and then to walk out without looking like youv not commited some ungodly sin, which is pretty difficult when they are whippin up a spot of lunch and youv added you little bit of spice to it. Buen appetito...

Sight wise tripoli was pretty wank, i just wandered until i got called over by these two fellas, who didnt wanna encroach on my underpants for a change and just wanted to av a crack. One reminded me of a good mate of mine that i met in china, they both have Iraqi dads and when he smiled he looked the spitting image of my buddy. Anyway, these fellas showed me round abit and we had a chat about birds (the boobed type, not the flying ones) and football and all that manly stuff that lads do on occasion.

Shifting onto Beirut the next day was a wise move. I had the most fantastic bus ride of my traveling career which i shall explain directly. We set off pretty early in tho morn and from the get go i could tell the driver was a cock. He looked like a middle eastern vinny jones in his wimbledon days and acted not dissimilar also, cuttin people up on the road and making stupid unnecessary overtakes etc. An hour in hes showin off to his bird in the front seat when  thisw other bus comes infront of him from a laybye or somethin, vinny swerves to miss him and gets as mad as a hatter and chases they other guy (which we shall name baldy due to his lack of hair) until he is window to window with him and snarls at him to pull over which he does. Vinny then grabs this fuckin huge stick with a knot of wood at the end which my dad would call a shalleighly (i dunno if its a word but  imagine summat pretty menacing) and runs to baldys bus calling him out and kickin up a right stink. Baldy didnt get out and drove off leaving vinny huffin and puffin and throwin stuff about in his bus acting unjustly righteous. So, its all forgotten and we are backed up in rush hour traffic approachin beiruts centre all bored and docile until gues who makes an appearance with 2 amigos?? Its only baldy wavin a fuck off plank of wood with nales and such protrudin from it! "Get out dickhead" cries baldy in lebanese, we can see vinnys bravado wane but give him his dues he goes to the door and  has a good old arguement then tell em to piss off cos hes obviously shiittin it. He quickly jumped in his seat and tried to speed off wi baldy hangin on for dear life the poor swine. Enraged, baldy swings his weapon and clumps it down on vinnys shoulder who then sees red again and has a fight with his mrs to get his big stick. Im sat there about 2 feet away from the action trying to supress a smirk, i didnt feel intimadated at all, it was truly brilliant and definately my highlight of Lebanon.

Lebanon is a country thats had its fair share of shite over the years, it became its own country in the 40's and since the 70's has been involved in civil war after civil war, that coupled with hostilities towards its neighbour Syria and the regular invasion of Israel from the south the poor fuckers havnt had a great few years. It ued to have a considerable christian population which were the governing power for the majority of the conflicts and by the sounds of it did the most of the bad shit particularly in the 80's with Israels backing.  This brought about hostage taking from the islamic jihad group which kept british and whoever else captive til the early 90's. Hezzbollah (party of god) have since been a force that has caused shit and have been labled as fundamentalists, and i was informed yesterday of them taking to the streets just last year and to not talk about them in public as they have members everywhere. Pretty scary really. Anyway, i saw none of that lot and the Beirut i saw was a city thats coming into its own, with a massive rejuvination of the centre and a stunning seafront its easy to see why its labled the paris of the middle east. Lebanon as a country is not what people would think, i get the image of arid, desolate lands with gun wielding arabs looking to cause trouble but that it is not. Its an increadibly mountainous country with great skiing if your into that crap and a culture of going out on the piss and generally having a good time.

 I got ripped off a bit and the accomodation i was in was wierd, i had a dorn with a lebanese guy that sat in his vest either smoking or eating spam cut from the tin with an army knife and a jordanian dude thathad about 20 selfhelp books that he showed me each and every one of as it had its english title translation on the back. It was all that Tony robbins stuff but good luck to him, he was a decent fella that was tryin to do well for himself i just have a bit of a thing about middle aged fellas in dorms, it creeps me out a bit. I hope thats not what these you sprites think about me when i check in, i aint gettin any younger....
So, i left Lebanon after only a few days as i couldnt really afford it, i enjoyed seein all the fit middle aged women joggin along the seafront and the quality scenery but if youy dont have a social circle there its hard to enjoy its quality nightlife.
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