Belize and the weird Rasta Language

Trip Start Feb 14, 2006
1
16
27
Trip End Dec 15, 2006


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Flag of Belize  ,
Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Hello and welcome back to the blog

Well, Louise and I have been busy - managing to knock off a whole country since I last wrote. Cool huh?

Last time I wrote we had just visited the jungle ruins of Tikal in Northern Guatemala and we were ready to leave and see something new. On arriving in Belize I was, literally, in shock from the fact that the SIGNS WERE IN ENGLISH! What the hell was going on? 7 months of espaņol had me sounding-out letters and trying to get my head around complex words such as 'wel-come'. It was huh-ard.

We spent some time taking a bus trip through low-lying jungle and were eventually dropped off at the port in Belize city. I was struck by the fact that 1) everyone was black (instead of latino) and 2) it appeared everyone thought they were in a rap-video. Giant basketball t-shirts and bling-bling everywhere. Anyway, I got over that, jumped on a boat (that was, like, totally pimped), and headed out to the coastal paradise of Caye Caulker (pronounced Key, as in the Florida Cayes, not 'kay' as in the way an Australian states the affirmative)

Caulker island was, obviously, lovely in the way one expects a Carribean island to be. Right now we are in the middle of hurricaine season and, even though the weather was magnificent, the island was almost completely empty. Just a bunch of bored-looking Rastas cruising up and down streets-of-sand looking for something to do with their dreadlocks. In Caye Caulker they speak a creole, a kind of hybrid language of English. If you have ever heard a bad jamaican accent (or seen Brad Pitt embarrasing himself in Meet Joe Black) then you have a vague idea of what it sounds like. The thing is, the language is still basically English. I almost fell on the floor laughing after an American waitress took an order for a 'cup of coffee' from me. She spoke a normal American English to me but when she turned to the Chef she said ''Ees'em boys be wahn-ten a coop ah de caa-feh, mon''. It was the most ridiculous fake-accent I had ever heard. I bet she even puts 'bi-lingual' on her resume.

Ahh-ight, be free-stylin now. We had a fantastic day snorkeling out on the reefs where we saw sting-rays and sharks. The guide actually grabbed one of the sting-rays and asked us to all stroke it. Images on Steve Irwen flashed through my mind as I petted the underwater-bat but in the end I was left with only one image. Slimy.

Anyway - I might as well tell everyone that I am now on a new workout regime given to me by a charming guy I met in the Galapagos (it's basically just push-ups and stuff but who cares). I was talking to Louise after we had been out swimming and she said, oh so casually, ''you know, your chest is a lot less... saggy... than it was a couple of months ago''. As my confidence slowly deflated she noticed my gaping-mouth and glazed-over-eyes and tried to recover: first with ''All men have breasts, James`` and then, as I was now quivering on the floor and not breathing, with ''Well, what would you call Gynecomastia?'' (sorry, medical word meaning, basically, man-titties)

The next time we spoke was 3 days later, which was lucky, as we were just arriving into Tuluum, Mexico. Great and exciting place - lots of big fat Americans with lots of jiggly-jiggly bits. I now feel much better about myself

Keep up the reading and I'll keep up the writing

Lots of love

James
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Comments

angeladouglas
angeladouglas on

Too much information
I was with you all the way, up to the Steve Irwin sting ray episode. But the flabby chest and what followed. Please.

Did you get my email about Bank Card? Does the whole world read this and wonder about this question?

Nico is here now. I will encourage him to read your blog on Rastas, dreadlocks and bling. Guess what? He took 2 hours to clear Customs again. He compromised somewhat by discarding the red handkerchief. But I think the pork pie white hat, set at a jaunty angle, didn't help.

Love to you both...MUM

hello_ondrej
hello_ondrej on

bitch tits
bitch tits?! i didn't realise you had bitch tits?! that's it: the friendship's over. louise - come with me - i WILL NOT have you fraternising with that...that THING.

jamesdouglas
jamesdouglas on

thanks ondrej
your unwavering support (and, as we all now know, I need it) is appreciated

jiggle jiggle jiggle

jamesdouglas
jamesdouglas on

Re: Too much information
yes mum

everything you post here is available for everyone else to read. If it needs to be private just email me

Thanks for the support though

Love me

everardt
everardt on

First time blogger
Hi James

This is my first ever entry to a blog site - it's a funny feeling sharing your comments with whoever (whomever?) wants to read them. I've got to say you write very entertaining emails/blogs so there's perhaps another career as a travel writer if medicine doesn't work out. It's amazing what hidden talents people have. I can't think of a good conjunction of travel writer/doctor at present although one of my friends is a botanist and plays the cello professionally and we call him a botticellist.

I'm glad to hear that due to your exercise regime, when you return to aikido you may actually fill out your gi :). I understood Louise's comment as a bit of a back-handed compliment, ie you have a chest now, whereas before you didn't before.

I sold my house last weekend so it's all coming together for my trip next year. I have 45 days to move out so I'll need to find somewhere to live for a couple of months. Are you likely to be back by early January next year so I can talk to you about best places to go in South America?

I don't know anything about blog etiquette but I guess this message is too long. Will keep future ones shorter.

Everard

jamesdouglas
jamesdouglas on

Re: First time blogger
Hi Everard

don't worry about blog rules and regulations - i have no idea either. Yes, Louise's comment was a compliment but I do like the idea of getting back into my Gi properly as well.

I will be back in Australia on December the 16th 2006

OK - will keep this short because it is a public message.

Good luck and keep me up to date

The Aiki-octor

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