BACK TO THE FUTURE!

Trip Start May 09, 2005
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25
Trip End Ongoing


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Friday, April 28, 2006

I'm so cold... so very very cold... I can't walk... I can barely talk... I'm SO... VERY... COLD... Which can mean only one thing: I'M HOME -- WAHEY! Yep it's true, I flew back Tuesday under the cover of darkness in a covert operation to scare the shit out my parents, who thought I was back in a few weeks! Anyway, here's a very quick update on what happened during my last week on the road...

Had a great day on Ko Tao snorkeling with an Aussie lad we'd been looking after and me and Giggsy burnt our backs superbly! Then we bought the biggest water guns money would buy... the reason? It was Songkran, Thailand's New Year, when it is customary to cover everyone in water! It was so much fun, you could shoot anyone; women, children were all fair game... Then add alcohol into that mix and you start shooting anything that moves, people passing on mopeds, grannies in hammocks, dogs, cats -- you name it, I shot it! Then that night we headed to the full moon party on Koh Phangan. I got really, really, REALLY drunk that night and returned the next day with memory loss and wearing just my boxer shorts and a vest!

After the full moon party we realised our Visas had expired, so we had to pop over to Burma to get an extension. After which we caught the bus south to Phuket, where we went on a day trip to the Similan Islands -- a fantastic time spent snorkeling in crystal clear waters, which was topped off by me and Giggs burning our fronts on the boat home (the plan being to get a tan before coming home, but that plan has gone tits up after a week of peeling!)...

Next up Pattaya, to pick up our bags from Terry. What can I say about Pattaya? It's a bit like Sin City. Everywhere you looked you saw dirty old men with young Thais. Anyway, we had a few cheeky drinks at night and generally kicked back and did nada (apart from watching just about every episode of South Park) for a few days before heading back up to Bangkok... We didn't stay long in the capital because we had a plane to catch to our final destination, a little place called Engerrland.

JFT: THAILAND

Cheap. Hot. Great islands. Great jungles. Sweaty. Cheap. Polluted. Funny language. Like their footy. Ladyboys. Cheap. A great place to end the trip. Highlights: Songkran water fight, snorkeling / scuba, motorbike madness and Giggsy's fat foot!

So the trip has ended, and what have I learnt from travelling? Well, I've learnt that whales can hold their breath for hours, but dolphins are still cooler; that the Dodo looked funny, but its extinction was anything but funny; the human liver can take an absolute pounding before it fails; motorbikes are ace, but dangerous; crocodiles aren't cute; hippies are idiots; if you don't label something to get moved it won't get moved; chuey duey means 'help'; that you can train a monkey to ride a bike... and lots of other silly stuff!

However, I think the most important thing I can take from travelling is that money is everything! Money CAN buy you friends and happiness! Without money life is rubbish! And I want it -- boy to I want it! Money money money! I am the money monster! SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! Right, I'm tired... I think I need a holiday!

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